Losing hope
by Youngsoul
Summary: Natsu falls into despair due to his failure on a mission and he hides himself in his home after the mission, but a wound ignored will cause him a lot of trouble, and soon he finds himself losing to a curse. Gray and Natsu find their feelings towards each other, but will Natsu be able to survive long enough for their love to last? Rating changed to M
1. Chapter 1

**Here it is, the most voted story and so (probably) the most awaited one, Losing hope.  
I am still having a bit trouble with this story, as I wrote this a long time ago and I have not been satisfied with it. At all. Now, it is basically being rewritten, but it still isn't quite how I want it to be.  
Still, I really wanted to present this story for you as I know that some have been waiting for this. I hope you enjoy this first chapter.**

**WARNING: I was going to say that there will be a lot of moments of Natsu getting hurt but scratch that, this story is based on him getting hurt. So, if you aren't into that, now is the time to turn back. Also, possible gore (not sure yet) and horror ahead. I will inform about those parts separately and they can be skipped. An a-bit-gruesome warning given for this chapter too.**

**You know the drill: I don't own Fairy Tail.**

* * *

It was impossible after all.

Even though I swore I would find you.

The expectations rose so high as I told myself that I could do it. One day, for sure.

'_You can definitely do it!'_

'_If you just keep searching, you're bound to find something!'_

But somehow I always knew. Deep inside of me, a tiny voice was saying that I couldn't do it.

Did you hate me so much that you left me alone?

The tiny voice had grown bigger during the years and now it was becoming overwhelming.

After the battle where my own strength wasn't enough to protect my friends, I realized. I realized that I'm weak.

I can't find you.

I can't save anyone.

'_It's not your fault.'_

But I still know it is.

–

I hadn't gone to the guild for a few days.

I couldn't face everyone knowing that I wasn't be able to protect them anymore. Or, maybe I never could. My heart ached with the feeling of powerlessness and so turned my head to bury my face in my pillow once again. I didn't want to get up, not due to laziness but because I felt more down than ever. This had been going on for a few days, just laying in my bed, thinking about how useless I was. Happy had tried to get me up for countless times, but I wouldn't even answer to him. I couldn't. He was still covered in bruises and his tail was broken from several places but he hadn't complained about the injuries even once. He tried to act happy like he always was but I knew that he was still in pain. Seeing him like that made me unable to even speak. I couldn't even apologize any longer. Every time he tried to cheer me up or offer me something to eat or drink I would stay in complete silence, gritting my teeth in self-hatred and guilt.

The others had been injured too. Happy told me that Lucy had woken up yesterday but she still needed to stay in bed for a week at least. Erza and Gray were thankfully better. Erza had broken bones and bruises like the other two, but she had woken up right after the battle and was in a relatively good condition. Gray's ribs had broken in several places and he had a lot of other injuries, but he was up and walking. Erza and Gray were both fast healers, unlike Lucy, so they were spending their days at the guild like nothing had happened, apparently.

I had a lot of injuries too, but they weren't too serious. Some cuts and bruises and a few broken bones. Since I was a fast healer too, I knew that I was going to be in perfect condition in a few weeks at most.

I was in pain, but it wasn't my injuries that were hurting. The fact that I had let everyone down, that I hadn't been able to protect my friends when I should have, pained me more than any wound ever could have. I was the only one who blamed me about what happened. They were saying that it wasn't my fault. But if I had made some other choices maybe everything would have been different and no one had had to get hurt because of me.

I let the most recent painful memories flow into my thoughts again, consuming me, as I felt like it was the only thing I could do to punish myself. I needed to relive that moment over and over again so I was never going to forget what I had done.

_**- A few days ago -**_

I woke up in a big, round, white room chained high to the wall. My first reaction was to struggle against my bonds, trying to get my freedom back. Unfortunately, it was no use.

"Damn it!" I shouted in frustration.

I tried to remember how I got there but the last thing I remembered was that I was trying to find my friends inside this stupid maze-like building.

Since my hands were held high over my head and all my weight was supported by the chains, I felt an uncomfortable ache in my shoulders. I knew that if I would have to stay in the position for too long I was going to have to feel the pain of my shoulders dislocating.

"I see you have awakened, salamander," a dark, cunning voice then said and I looked down to see a tall man wearing an evil grin.

"Who are you?! Or more importantly, GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" I shouted at him, only to earn a snicker.

"I'm the one you are supposed to defeat." I frowned as my mood turned more serious.

"So, you're the one who sent that challenge letter to our guild?"

"Yes. But that was only to lure you in here," the man told with a twisted smile.

"What?!"

The man gave a laugh. I tried to struggle out of the chains again but it wasn't working. These chains were different.

"You probably noticed that those chains cancel all magic," the man told calmly. He held his hands behind his back, which just made me more irritated. He didn't see me as a threat. I gave the man a glare as he just smirked at me.

"I need you to give me some information about the dragons." I felt my face twitching in anger. So he was after the dragons.

"No way in hell."

"I thought you would say that, but I think that _this_ should make you reconsider."

The man snapped his fingers and three big screens opened in the air. They were all from different parts of the castle and in each of them, there was a familiar mage making their way somewhere.

"Ooi! Everyone! I'm here!" I shouted, trying to get them to notice me. But as I slightly expected, they didn't seem to hear me.

"Now, salamander. If you don't tell me where the dragons are, I'm going to start hurting your friends. You don't want that, now do you?"

I gritted my teeth.

"You aren't playing very fair."

"But you still aren't willing to tell me anything? Then, let's start."

At the same time in all of the screens, chains appeared from somewhere and grabbed my friends. They all screamed as they were dragged away at a frightening speed.

"What are you doing?!" I shouted at the man who gave a laugh again.

"Now, tell me where the dragons are."

I started to panic.

"Let my friends go! They've got nothing to do with this!"

The two big doors soon opened and chains ran towards the man and went into his sleeves. The chains continued to run and seemed to disappear inside the man's coat. It took a while before one of the chains reached its end and revealed a familiar figure, all wrapped inside the chain.

"Gray!" At the same time, Lucy, Happy and Erza were dragged inside the room too.

"That hurt!" Lucy shouted angrily and tried to struggle out of the chains.

"Everyone!" I shouted, making the three look up to see me.

"Natsu! What are you doing up there?" Erza asked with a light tone, seemingly not concerned at all about what was happening.

"It's not like I want to be up here!" I found myself snapping at her.

The man walked towards my friends with a smirk on his face. He controlled the chains so that the the four were dangling in the air, letting out surprised yelps.

He walked to Lucy and pulled her hair so that her face was facing up. Then, he took a knife out of his pocket and held it against Lucy's neck.

"Now, salamander, do you feel like speaking?" A few drops of sweat ran down my face as I gritted my teeth. "Stop it! I'll tell you everything I know so leave them alone!" The man released Lucy and walked closer to me again.

"Alright. Tell me now and I'll let your friends go." I gulped. This couldn't end well.

"W-well…"

"Tell me!"

"The dragons disappeared one day, all at the same time."

"I know that already. I need to know where they are now." The man was getting impatient.

"I don't know anything! I have been searching them too, but I haven't found anything."

"You little liar." The man seemed very angry. He gave me a punch in the gut, forcing the breath out of me, leaving my vision spinning for a while. When I could focus my vision again and gasp a few wheezy breaths, I saw the man walking towards my friends.

"NO! STOP IT!" I shouted but the man didn't listen. He tightened the chain around Gray, who shouted in pain.

"GRAY!" I saw the older mage gritting his teeth in pain as his eyes shone with anger.

"STOP IT! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM!" I tried to reason, but the man just started kicking and hitting Gray, who cried out in pain after every attack. The room was soon filled with different noises. We were all shouting, but the worst noise came from the bones that kept cracking underneath Gray's skin. It went on until Gray had no strength to shout. The man then dropped him onto the ground where his blood had gathered into a puddle and it splashed as he fell.  
He once again walked over to me and asked me the same questions. I only stared at my comrade in shock, before I shook my head.

"Please.. I really don't know! I will do anything, just stop this!" I pleaded, unable to keep my tears back. They rolled down my cheeks, creating small rivers. They made no difference to anyone.

After the man didn't get the answer he wanted, he chose his next victim. The beating went on and our voices died down one by one, until it was only me left.

"NO! No, no! Stop it..!" I continued to shout until no sound came out anymore. I didn't even notice the water falling from my eyes anymore, just wishing he'd stop this torture. I heard him land one last kick on Lucy before there was only silence.

The man was panting and he turned to look at me again. I looked up to see that my friends weren't moving anymore.

"No…no…" I breathed out. I felt like something inside of me died that moment. They weren't moving. Oh god, they weren't moving. This had to be a nightmare. I wanted someone to wake me up now. I wasn't going to be able to stay sane for much longer.

"Tell me where they are…" the man was seething in anger while walking closer to me, his body covered with the blood of my friends.

I was too shocked to say anything. I barely even registered what the guy said. I was being lowered down and soon I matched his eye-level.

I wasn't looking at him. I was broken. My friends were…

"Useless!" he hissed, "you are completely useless!"

The man started hitting me and kicking me but I barely even noticed. I felt dead already. There was an ugly sound next to my ear, coming from my shoulder. Another similar pop was soon heard again from the other shoulder.

_'So they dislocated...'_ I thought absentmindedly.

The enraged man kept on going and I started registering the pain slowly. This continued for a very long time before he seemed to snap completely. He stopped and pulled a knife out of his pocket. He inspected the blade in strange glee shining in his eyes. "I think I'll just make you suffer through hell…"

_'Hell..'_ I wondered at his words, _'Am I not already in hell? My friends...' _Another tear rolled down my cheek. I was thinking that this was the end. My friends were gone and it was my fault. Now, I was going to share their fate.

The man took out a bottle from inside his coat and opened the lid. He poured the strange black liquid to the blade and marveled it for a moment. Then, with a swift move, he stabbed me in my side. I screamed until my voice cracked and disappeared into a wheezing sound.

He twisted the blade a bit before pulling it out. My vision became blurry and I saw the blade, dripping fresh blood on the floor. It hurt. I couldn't breathe.

The last thing I saw before I could finally let go of my consciousness, was an explosion as the doors were brought down and a crowd of people walking through the dust. I recognized one small figure in the front as the guild Master and relief overcame me. With that emotion washing over me, I greeted the darkness.

_**- Current time-**_

I touched my side gently. It had been bandaged carefully but somehow, the pain was still there. _'Usually the pain would be gone by now…' _I thought but decided that it was nothing serious. I rolled over and stared at the empty room before letting out a tired sigh.

"Maybe I should just get lost… I really can't look at them in the eye anymore…" I spoke to the empty room. I sat up and buried my head in my hands.

"What am I supposed to do…?" I muttered.

I felt tired. Very, very tired, but I felt like I couldn't stay there any longer. I got up and decided to go to the nearby lake to wash my face for starters. I could think about my next course of action after that.

I walked out of my and Happy's house and walked down the path we always took when we went to the lake. I let my thoughts wander.

I knew that I couldn't live with this guilt for much longer, but living in Magnolia made it impossible to forget about what I had done. Seeing my friends would remind me about my powerlessness and I didn't want that. I was the one who needed to keep them safe, but I had been completely unable to fulfill that role.

I knew what had to be done. I needed to leave Magnolia for good. There was no other way. I would travel the continent – like I had once wished – never staying at one place, never making any relationships. If I did, I would just end up losing them again. Realizing how cliché my thoughts sounded, I couldn't help but to laugh silently. Gray would surely make fun of me if he knew. I stopped walking at that thought. Why was I thinking about him now? I tried to search through my feelings for a possible solution. He was my rival and a friend and there was a strange, unspoken bond between us. Somehow we knew if the other was feeling down and sometimes even our thoughts seemed to be exchanged just by a glance. Maybe it was because of those reasons that I somehow felt like meeting him. I wanted him to know what I was thinking, to know that I was leaving. He would probably understand me. Surprisingly, that thought made me smile a bit. Maybe I could meet him once more to talk to him. Then I would surely leave.

I found myself growing tired. The road to the lake felt much longer than I remembered. My steps were getting heavy while sharp tugs of pain to coursed through my body to the rhythm of my steps as my injuries were aggravated by the movement.

After a good while, I reached the small lake. I let out a relieved sigh and walked slowly towards my favorite napping place. I sat down and leaned against the trunk of the big three, inspecting the soft grass under my fingers. The pain on my body started fading slowly as the sun washed its warm rays over me. I stared at the thick clouds floating above, my mind emptying from all thoughts. It was so calm. Before I even noticed, I had fallen asleep.

Unfortunately, my nap turned out to be restless. I had a nightmare about the latest incident again. They were all dying again…And it was all because of me. I tried to run towards them but I couldn't reach them. The chains caught me again and snaked up my body, trapping me, imprisoning me. They stole my freedom and crushed inside their grasp painfully. Soon, they were around my neck, choking me. I cried soundlessly and stared at the bloodied bodies of my most treasured friends.

Just when I was sure I was going to die, I woke up, but I panicked as I noticed where. I had somehow managed to get deep underwater and I had no idea where the surface was. I clearly hadn't thought about taking a deep breath before diving for I didn't have much air in my lungs. I was so lost and in panic that moment. I looked around and saw a glimpse of light. Without thinking, I started swimming towards it but soon realized that I wasn't going to make it. My body became heavy and my lungs were on fire.

'_Shit… I don't want to die in here! Not like this!'_ I thought but my vision became blurred and my arms didn't have any strength left. The air in my lungs escaped into the water and slowly rose to the surface. It was so close… So close… But I couldn't reach it. I extended my hand and tried to reach the surface as the last futile attempt. I knew that I couldn't reach it. I was about to give in when I felt a strong grip on my hand. But I couldn't help it. The water rushed into my lungs and I blacked out.

An alarmed shout woke me up. "Oi! Natsu! Wake up you idiot!"

I slowly opened my eyes and saw Gray leaning over me with a worried look. His face and hair was dripping with water and he was panting softly. If I wasn't surprised enough because of that, I soon found that I couldn't breathe. I gasped for air and started coughing. Gray noticed this and quickly lifted me up to a sitting position so I could get rid of all the water that had managed to get into my lungs.

After I finally was able to breathe again, Gray moved in front of me and grabbed my shoulders tightly. I raised my head slowly to look at him. I saw his face twisted in worry, but more than that, he looked pissed.

"What the hell were you doing!?" he shouted, "I get that you're upset but this isn't like you!" He shook me a few times and I saw that he looked hurt.

"We've told you already, what happened wasn't your fault! No one blames you for what happened," he said and I looked away from him, but he shook my shoulders again and leaned a bit closer. I had no choice but to look at him. His angry look melted away.

"You should have told someone you were that depressed…" Gray now only looked honestly sad which I found confusing.

"I just thought that I would come and check on you but then I found that you weren't in your house. So, I started searching for you. How do you think I felt when I saw your muffler floating on the surface?" Gray's grip on my shoulders tightened and I somehow got what Gray was thinking right now. I was about to say something but then, I felt Gray's hands shaking before he shouted at me, his voice wavering with what I recognized as terror, "damn it, Natsu! You scared the hell out of me! Don't you ever think about doing a suicide again, you hear me!? Not ever!" Gray shook my shoulders again and I was just shocked. Gray cared this much about me? He looked at me directly in my eyes.

"I never thought that you would do this…" He let his hands fall back down. He gave a sigh before he continued.

"Look, even though we fight all the time and argue about everything… I just really can't imagine Fairy Tail without you around…"

I couldn't say anything. I had no idea that Gray had a side like this.

"So, don't leave us like this." Gray looked at me with pleading eyes. The whole drowning part was just an accident but it was kind of hard to tell that now. And even though I wasn't planning to kill myself, I was still planning on leaving Magnolia. I guess this just meant that... I was still needed back.

I still couldn't forgive myself completely, but I felt like a big stone had just been lifted from my heart. I was still needed. Even if I was weak and useless, I still had a place in the guild.

I felt really happy and I couldn't help when a small smile crept on my face. Gray noticed this and smiled back. He looked really relieved.

Then, he looked like he remembered something and turned around to grab something. He then gave me something white, soft and very wet. It was my muffler. I grabbed it gratefully and he ruffled my wet hair with his hand. He was being so nice to me but somehow, it didn't feel weird. I felt happy that we weren't fighting, and that he showed that he cared about me.

Gray took the muffler from my hands and wrapped it around my neck like it always was. I felt a bit embarrassed due to the closeness and I felt my face heat up.

Gray retreated his hand before standing up, stretching his legs and arms.

"Can you stand?" he asked me and I nodded a bit uncertainly. He offered his hand to me and I grabbed it.

We then just stood for a while and I used my powers to dry us up. Gray grimaced at the heat, but still gave me a smile now that we weren't soaked.

I felt a bit unsteady on my feet but I tried to cover it up so Gray wouldn't notice.

He walked ahead of me, but not far, and looked at me over his shoulder every once in a while just to make sure I was following.

Without a warning, it then happened. I suddenly felt sharp pain in my side and I looked down to see an enormous amount of blood on my bandages. Like there were no bandages at all, the blood continued to flow down my side. My hands flew to the wound and my hands were soon covered in blood. I didn't get it. There was no way that wound could bleed this much. It should have started healing already. I felt panicked.

I looked at Gray, who hadn't noticed that I was having _slight_ problems. I tried to call out to him, but no voice came out.

_'Right, I lost my voice...'_

The only thing that came out was a wheeze. The blood dropped to the ground steadily. I had never seen this much blood coming out of a wound before. I was scared. I needed help. My vision was becoming a bit blurred and I was scared that Gray wouldn't notice at all. But when I fell to my knees, he turned to look at me and when he noticed that I was bleeding heavily, his face turned shocked.  
"NATSU!" He shouted and was by my side in an instant. I felt a bit relieved and I was about to fall to the ground but Gray caught me.

I was scared. I usually wasn't, but now, I was so scared. The fear must have showed on my face, making Gray feel panicked too.

"The blood isn't stopping…Damn it!" I tried to say Gray's name, but no voice came out. But Gray noticed that I mouthed his name and grabbed my hand.  
"It's going to be okay Natsu. I'm going to take care of you okay? You aren't going to die. I won't let you." He then lifted me to his arms, making me let out a pained groan, and started running.

I trusted Gray. I knew that he wouldn't let me die. He saved me from drowning just now, and now he was going to save me again.

'_I wonder how I can return the favor…' _I thought before I started to feel even more lightheaded than before, causing me to pass out against Gray's shoulder.

* * *

**Now, I don't feel so sure about this. I could ramble for an eternity about how I don't feel satisfied with this, but I will leave that for my fellow writer to listen to later.  
However, if you liked this at all it would mean a world to me if you could inform me about that. Otherwise, I will assume that everyone is grimacing while reading this.  
Goodnight.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wooow, I love you guys! I didn't expect so many reviews AT ALL. You're the best.  
I try to keep this story updated weekly, but I can't be sure.  
****Though mostly unnecessary, here is Gray's POV of things that happened in the first chapter. Also, sorry for the shortness.  
Enjoy.**

* * *

I wouldn't admit it to anyone but I was really worried about the kid.

He hadn't been to the guild in many days and according to Happy, he wasn't doing too great. He wouldn't speak nor eat. He was just laying in his bed all day.

I found that today wouldn't turn out to be any different as I saw Happy walking inside the guild alone, his ears held low.

I just couldn't take the sad faces of my friends anymore. No one in the guild was cheerful anymore. Our sun wasn't there anymore. We all had to admit it. The guild wasn't the same without Natsu.

Knowing that nothing would change with just waiting, I shot up from my seat and marched towards the door with determination.

"Gray, where are you going?" I didn't turn around to look at Erza.

"I'm going to talk some sense into that idiot," I just said as my steps quickened into a run without me really noticing it.

I was soon standing before Natsu's and Happy's small house and I was about to knock before I hesitated. What was I going to say to him? Would I just tell him to come back to the guild this instant? I was probably just make the matters worse. I sighed, knowing that I shouldn't be mean to the kid. I would probably feel bad too if I were in his situation. Still, drowning yourself in guilt never did any good, and sometimes a helping hand was needed.

I took a deep breath and knocked but there was no answer.

"Oi, Natsu! It's me," I called only to be greeted by silence once again.

I then remembered how Happy was saying that Natsu lost his voice during the mission and it probably still hadn't returned, even though there was no way to confirm it.

"Well, I'm coming in now," I said and carefully opened the door.

I spotted Natsu's bed but for my surprise, it was empty. The whole house was empty. I ran out and looked around the house but the kid was nowhere to be found.

"Damn it… Where have you gone..?" I decided that I would find him and talk this over. The situation couldn't continue like this.

I figured that he probably wouldn't go to the town, so I decided to search the forest. I ran as fast as I could. I didn't really even know where I was going, but something inside me told me that I should hurry.

Then, something shined ahead of me. It was the small lake at which I had spent a lot of time back in the day. I stopped running and scanned around with my gaze for the pink-haired mage but I couldn't find him. I sighed and sat down on the grass. Where was that idiot?

I didn't have any time to enjoy the sunshine before the clouds gathered and it became dark. I clicked my tongue in annoyance but when I looked back at the lake, I saw something floating on the surface.

I couldn't recognize it at first but when I focused my vision to it, I understood what it was.

_'Oh shit.'_

I didn't think about it for even a second. My feet stumbled as I dashed across the shore and jumped in the water. I swam to the white object and as I feared, it was Natsu's muffler. I grabbed the muffler and took a deep breath before I dived.

The water was dark and deep. It was hard to see anything, but I had to find him. I had to. I swam deeper but it was no use. The water was too murky. My heart was racing. How long had he been underwater? Maybe it was already too late? I tried to shake off the thoughts.

Right when I was about to return to the surface to get more air, I saw something pink in the corner of my eye. I swam closer and then I saw him. He looked exhausted and it was clear that his air had run out. But he was alive. His left hand was extended towards the surface, but he was slowly sinking.

I grabbed his hand and swam to the surface as fast as I could.

Soon I got to the surface and lifted Natsu up beside me. I was shocked to notice that he wasn't breathing and I started to swim towards the shore with haste.

I pulled the unconscious boy on to the grass and knelt beside him. I wasn't sure what to do.

"Oi! Natsu! Wake up you idiot!" I shouted and shook the boy. I was relieved when the boy stirred and slowly opened his eyes. His eyes went wide and he started gasping for air. I quickly helped him up to a sitting position and he started to cough up water. After a while, he was breathing normally again.

I was still a bit worried about him but I suddenly felt anger build up inside me. I grabbed Natsu's shoulders so that he was forced to look at me.

"What the hell were you doing?!" I shouted at him. I felt angry, sad and betrayed at the same time. This wasn't like him at all.

"I get that you're upset but this isn't like you!" I shook his shoulders a bit and I saw that he clearly hadn't expected any of this. I felt like I had to talk some sense into him.

"We've told you already, what happened wasn't your fault! No one blames you for what happened." These words really hit him. He looked away from me but I shook him again and leaned closer. It worked. Natsu looked at me again though a bit reluctantly. I couldn't help it when all my anger flew away when I saw the sadness in his eyes.

"You should have told someone you were that depressed…" I felt sad and hurt. Natsu was thinking about ending his life so quickly. He hadn't even given it a second thought either. I was sure that he was the last person who would do a thing like this.

"I just thought that I would come and check on you and then I found that you weren't in your house. So I started searching for you. How do you think I felt when I saw your muffler floating on the surface?" My grip on his shoulders tightened. I didn't want to lose him. He had been so close to death just moments ago and he didn't seem to care about it at all.

"Damn it, Natsu! You scared the hell out of me! Don't you ever think about doing a suicide again, you hear me!? Not ever!" Natsu looked shocked. I was just glad if something that I said got to his understanding. But I still couldn't believe it. Natsu and depression weren't even supposed to be mentioned in the same sentence. He was a light which never succumbed to darkness, even when the world around them crashed down.

"I never thought that you would do this…" I decided to keep talking for I remembered that Natsu couldn't probably speak yet. I let my hands fall and I sighed.

"Look, even though we fight all the time and argue about everything… I just really can't imagine Fairy Tail without you around…" I felt a bit embarrassed about saying that directly to him like this, but those were my feelings and I didn't regret voicing them. "So, don't leave us like this."

I felt like his existence was more fragile than what I could have ever imagined. He always seemed so strong and reliable, but now I realized how he must have been hurting inside all this time.

I watched as Natsu's eyes slowly came back to life, shining a bit brighter than before.

His shocked face melted into a small smile and I felt relief wash over me. Guess this meant that he wouldn't go and do something stupid again, at least for now.

I smiled back at him as brightly as I could but in this situation. I then noticed Natsu's bare neck and remembered that I had his muffler behind me. I took it and gave it to Natsu, who gratefully accepted it.

I found myself wondering why I was being so nice, but I blamed it on the shock of almost losing him for good. Besides, it didn't feel wrong. Somehow, I wanted to protect him. I took the muffler again and wrapped it around Natsu's neck. Then he blushed. He blushed! Why I found that absolutely adorable, I didn't know. I blamed it on the shock again. To avoid the awkwardness, I quickly got up and stretched my limbs. I really hoped that I would be able to forget about my momentary insanity, after all, Natsu was a guy! Men weren't cute, or at least weren't supposed to be. And if I found Natsu cute, didn't that mean that I-? I shook my head to stop my train of thought. I turned back to the other and vowed to myself, we were just friends.

"Can you stand?" I asked and Natsu nodded. I saw that he looked a bit uncertain and I offered my hand to him. He grabbed it and I pulled him up.

A hot wave of heat came from Natsu and I closed my eyes in displeasure. When it was gone, I was glad to notice we were dry. I gave a thankful smile, even though I wished he would never do it again. As an ice-mage, such heat felt more than uncomfortable.

He started walking but I saw immediately that he was unsteady on his feet. When I was about to offer help, I noticed how determined he looked and I decided to just keep an eye on him.

We hadn't walked too far yet when I heard a 'thump' behind me. Instant worry shot through my chest as I turned around to find Natsu on his knees. He was holding his side and I was horrified to notice the blood seeping through his fingers as it colored his clothes and his hands in deep crimson. He stared at me, his eyes wide and frightened.

_'What the hell!' _I thought in shock as I ran to his side in a flash.

"NATSU!" I shouted as he collapsed into my arms. Only now I saw how much he was bleeding. I had never seen anything like it before. There was just too much blood. Natsu's face was turning white and he looked terrified, making my heart twist uncomfortably. This couldn't be happening.

I knew that I had to do something fast or Natsu was going to die of blood-loss. I tried to press the wound, but it was no use. My hands were soon covered in the thick, warm liquid.

"The blood isn't stopping…Damn it!" I looked back to Natsu, who was trying to say something. I saw that he mouthed my name and I knew that I had to make him feel safe, so I grabbed his hand and held it tightly.

"It's going to be okay Natsu. I'm going to take care of you, okay? You aren't going to die. I won't let you." I scooped him up in my arms, earning a pained groan from Natsu, and started running. I wouldn't let him die, no way in hell. I just saved him from drowning and he wasn't going to die because of this either. We would go back to the guild and things were going to be the same again. He couldn't die now. I still had things I needed to tell him. Even though I tried to stubbornly tell myself these things, the fear inside of me grew bigger by the moment and the thought of a happy ending started to fade.

My chest hurt. My legs hurt. My arms hurt, but I kept running. Soon, the town was visible.

"Just hang in there Natsu." I said and glanced down to the boy, only to notice that he was unconscious. I stopped and tried to shake the boy awake.

"Natsu, wake up! You can't lose consciousness now!" He didn't even stir. I held him even tighter than before and started running again. I felt how he was becoming colder by every passing minute. It scared me like hell. What if I wouldn't be fast enough?

After a while, I finally reached the guild. I was panting hard and my feet gave out just when I walked in.

"Please-, help- Natsu!" I said between my breaths and the whole guild turned to look at me in shock. I was covered in Natsu's blood and the scent was making me nauseous.

Master ran to us, along with other members and soon Natsu was lifted from my arms. I could see a gang of mages running upstairs, and I recognized two of them as Master and Mira. Natsu's bare feet – his sandals probably lost during the trip here - could be seen dangling as someone carried his body.

Erza was by my side soon and asked me something but I couldn't really hear her. She helped me to get up and supported me as we walked past the guild members, who kept looking at us.

She took me to a room that wasn't being used by anyone right now and helped me to sit down on one of the chairs. The room was filled with all sorts of stuff, more or less useful that were sometimes used by the guild members. Erza grabbed a blanket from somewhere and put it down on my shoulders. She then came to my side and knelt so that she could see my face as I held my head low.

"What happened?"

I didn't answer her at first. Everything had happened too fast.

"Gray, what happened?" Erza asked again, this time, in a more firm tone.

I didn't look at her and I frowned slightly as I remembered everything that had happened within the hour. I swallowed before I started to go through my memories, "I was looking for Natsu but he wasn't in his house so I started looking through the forest for him." I gave a sigh. I wasn't sure how Erza would react to Natsu's actions but she needed to know. I turned to look at her.

"I found his muffler floating on the surface on the lake." Erza frowned but stayed silent.

"Erza, I think Natsu tried to drown himself." Erza's eyes went wide in shock.

"I got him up in time, thankfully. If I had been there any later, it would have been the end for him." Erza seemed to recover from the first shock.

"But that doesn't explain the enormous amount of blood," she said and shook her head in confusion.

"I don't really know what happened. We were just returning and suddenly he just collapsed and he was bleeding like crazy. I ran here as fast as I could but-" I noticed that I had started to talk too fast and my breath was uneven. I was about to start panicking, but Erza stopped me. "It's okay, Gray." She put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Natsu is going to be okay. Master is taking care of him right now."

I felt relieved to hear those words. I knew that Master could help him somehow.

"Gray, you should go home for today." Erza said and looked at me, worry shining in her eyes.

"But…"

"I'll come and tell if there are any changes in his condition, okay?" she promised me with a smile.

I nodded and got up. I noticed my bloody shirt and I decided to take it off so I wouldn't scare the people in town.

Erza started looking for something and soon she pulled out a shirt. She threw it to me and told me to wear it until I got home.

"Thanks." I said and pulled off my earlier white t-shirt. Just like I had expected, my body was covered in blood too. I pulled on the shirt which Erza gave me. It smelled odd and was a bit too big, but it was better than being covered in Natsu's now-cold blood.

"I'll see you later," I said and left the guild by the backdoor so I wouldn't have to face the curious mages in the guild.

The rest of the evening went by very quickly. I returned back home and took a long shower. After that, I dressed myself up and let my body crash on my bed. I tried to take in everything that had happened.

The images of Natsu flashed through my mind. His body that slowly sank deeper into the water, how he looked pale after I got him up, how he seemed depressed, how he cheered up, how he smiled, how he was embarrassed, how tired he was, how he slowly followed after me, how he collapsed to the ground, how he was bleeding, how scared he looked, how he had lost consciousness in my arms...

I still remembered how cold the boy had been. Natsu's temperature was always so high, but that moment, he was _so cold_.

I looked at my hand and I remembered how it had been covered in blood only moments ago.

"Please be okay...!" I begged while I clenched the hand into a tight ball.

* * *

**Sorry for being a lazy ass and not answering your reviews, but to you all I just want to say: Thank you so much!  
The story will finally move on more in the next chapter which will be out next Tuesday.  
Until then!**


	3. Chapter 3

**It's Friday? Really? I am so sorry about that. I know this was supposed to be up on Tuesday, but I was just so, so tired due to work that I was barely able to move. Going through the text just wasn't just an option, unfortunately. I hope you will forgive me.  
Warning: mentions of blood during this chapter  
**

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Two figures stood in the guild infirmary, their postures stiff, as they were both preparing themselves mentally. Other to hear a truth – however cruel it may be – and the other to tell it.

The younger finally opened her mouth and asked the difficult question, "what's wrong with him?" The older - and very much smaller – locked his gaze with her's before answering, his expression grim, "It's a curse."

"What?" The red-haired girl asked, wanting to confirm if she heard correctly.

"Someone cast a curse on Natsu so that his body would kill himself in some way. You said he tried to drown himself? That was probably because of the curse," the older, Master Makarov, explained. Erza's mouth turned into a thin line as her brows furrowed tightly.

"So that means... Natsu wasn't trying to kill himself..."

"Right," Master replied.

"But what about the bleeding?"

"It was also due to the curse. All the blood inside his body focused into his wound until he almost bled out."

Erza couldn't say anything, feeling that her armor was too tight. She thought that it was too cruel. Who would want to cause so much pain for someone like Natsu? What had he done to deserve it?

"Same things will continue to happen unless the curse gets lifted. We have to do something quickly before something happens that we aren't going to be able to prevent." Erza nodded and replied, "I should go and tell Gray about this."

Just when she was about to leave, she heard a whimper. She turned to see the pink-haired boy shifting in his sleep on the infirmary bed, his expression looking pained. Erza walked over to his side and saw sweat running down his tanned skin, which was more pale than ever. She found herself brushing Natsu's hair in affection.

_'Why do you have to go through all this?' _she thought.

"... Gray..." the boy then whimpered, causing Erza's hand to stop and pull away from him. She got up and turned away from the boy, knowing where she had to go.

–

"Are you serious?!"

"Yeah." Erza told me with a serious tone.

I sighed. It was hard to believe that Natsu was actually cursed. It explained a lot of things, and most importantly it meant that that Natsu wasn't suicidal. Remembering that the curse was still on the boy I sat up more upright in worry. Even now, Natsu was in danger.

"Erza, we have to break the curse!" I shouted, causing her to put a hand on my shoulder to calm me down.

"Calm down. I have a plan."

"What plan?"

"I think it will be hard to get to the one who made the curse, so convincing him to break it isn't an option. We have to find another way to-"

"-So you know who cast that curse?" I interrupted her, my voice louder than I had intended it to be.

Erza was silent for a moment before answering, "It's probably the man who beat us up during the mission. I woke up just before the guild came to rescue us and I saw the man stabbing Natsu. I think that there was something wrong with that blade so that's probably when-"Erza turned to look me but couldn't continue her sentence as she saw the expression on my face. I was so angry that I knew that my face must have scared her. I just couldn't control myself any longer. _That man_ was behind it all!

"G-Gray..?" Erza asked carefully.

"So _**he**_ did all of this..." I hissed angrily. "First, he hurts him emotionally so he refuses to talk to anyone and now he wants to take his life. **I'll kill that bastard**." I knew that my words unlike myself, but I felt like my anger wouldn't disappear until I felt the cold corpse of _that man_ in my grip, draining all life from him. I would kill him, I swore to myself I was going to do it.

Erza's tone was alarmed as she tried to calm me down, "Calm down Gray! I know how you feel, but we can't kill the man even if we would want to. He's imprisoned right now. We'll find another way to save Natsu."

I noticed that the temperature in the room had dropped due to me getting angry, my magic responding to it by cooling everything around me. I breathed in and out, trying to focus on the most important thing – saving Natsu. "What are we supposed to do then?" I asked.

"I'll go and talk to Porlyusica, she probably knows something about curses and how to break them."

"Right. I should come too," I said and got up, only to be stopped by Erza's voice.

"Wait. You have to stay here."

"WHAT?! You expect me to just sit and wait?!"

"I'm not saying that you need to stay in your apartment, I'm saying that I expect you to stay in town and protect Natsu," Erza said. I understood that it wasn't just a suggestion, it was an order.

"You have to stay by his side. He's weak right now and if someone isn't by his side always he may give up to the curse. It's the most important job anyone could have right now," Erza continued, resting a hand on my shoulder. It wasn't like she was giving me a task that she didn't feel like doing. She was giving me a task which she felt like she was unable to do. Knowing that she trusted me to keep Natsu alive, I felt confidence and my usual cool return inside of me.

"Yeah. I'll keep him safe."

_**-Natsu's POV- **_

_'It's so dark. I can't see anything,' _I thought as I tried to feel my body. I felt numb and very strange. I couldn't really tell if it was a nice feeling or not.

_'Where's up and where's down? Am I supposed to be going somewhere?' _I wondered and tried to look around myself, only to find darkness all around.

A door then appeared in front of me. It was pearly white and had a golden doorknob. It almost felt like it was calling me, and it felt strangely familiar.

_'Right, I was supposed to go in there.' _

I found that I could move my legs and so I walked towards the door before I opened it, expecting to see something nice and familiar, but what I found was something completely different. It was horrible.

There was blood everywhere. It colored the walls, which I didn't even know existed, as well as the ground in front of me. It was so dark, yet why did the red color shine so brightly?

I lifted my gaze more to find figures over the red puddles, completely unmoving. It took me a while until I could accept the fact that the figures were people that I knew. They were my friends.

"_Lucy! Erza! Gray! Happy!" _I shouted and tried to run to them. Then, a figure appeared before me, forcing me to a stop. It was _him._

"_You were too late... You couldn't save them..."_ he said in a cold, emotionless voice.

"_No! That's not true! It's not-" _The man cut me off before I could finish.

"_It is... You're useless..."_

"_No.." _I only managed to breathe out the weak objection as I saw a lifeless hand on the floor from behind him.

"_You are and you know it..."_

"_SHUT UP!" _I shouted and the man disappeared. I panted as I glanced back at my friends. They were still the same, unmoving, bloodied.

I ran to them and knelt down, not caring that my white pants were getting soaked with the thick liquid.

"_Oi, everyone! Wake up!"_ I shouted and suddenly they all pushed themselves up.

"_You're okay..."_ I breathed out in relief but when I saw their injuries, I realized that they weren't fine at all.

"_Natsu...How could you do this to us..." _Lucy said and walked closer to me. I couldn't help it as I took steps backward.

"_We trusted you... And you betrayed us..." _Erza said this time, copying Lucy's movement.

"_I thought you promised that you would protect us...Natsu..." _Happy said. They all walked towards me and I honestly felt scared of them. I didn't understand why this was happening.

"_I-I-" _I tried to utter you, but suddenly I was being thrown to a wall by my neck. I gasped and saw Gray holding me up with a furious look on his face.

"_G-Gray...I-I'm sorry...I'm so sorry-"_

"_Cut the act. You never really cared about us. Admit it, you have always just been wishing that we would disappear from your life." _I shook my head in desperation. _"N-no! That's not-"_

"_I hate you Natsu. To the extend that I want to kill you." _Gray's grip on my neck suddenly got tighter and I couldn't suddenly breathe anymore. I tried to gasp for air but it was useless. Still, what hurt the most right now were his words. _'I hate you.' _They echoed inside my mind and soon, tears fell down my face uncontrollably.

Maybe it was really better if I gave up? They all would be happy if I was gone, right?

All the strength seemed to disappear from my body. Gray's angry face was still right in front of me, but it was blurred because of my tears.

_'Goodbye...Gray...'_

"-su!"

_'Huh? Whose voice is that?'_

"Natsu!"

_'It's calling me. Who is it? Just leave me be. I just want to disappear...'_

"Wake up you idiot!"

I finally opened my eyes.

The long dream had ended and it had left me shocked and broken. My eyes were raw and my cheeks were wet. I had been crying. A lot.

Then, a face appeared before me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with worry.

I wondered at his words for a while, trying to think why he would ask me that. Then I remembered the dream.

Gray was here. He hated me. He was going to kill me.

I quickly turned away from him but I wasn't going to run. If he wanted to kill me, he could do it.

"Natsu...What's wrong?" Gray asked with a gentle voice. It was strange. He was supposed to be angry.

"Sorry, I forgot. You can't speak right now, can you?" I didn't move at all. I wasn't going to answer him.

"Did you see a bad dream? You were crying..." I pushed my lips. I really wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him how scared I had been and how weak I felt, but maybe it wasn't a dream and Gray was still the same.

Suddenly, he touched my cheek to wipe the tears away, causing me to flinch away from him in fear. But when he suddenly lifted me up and pulled me into a hug, I couldn't help it when a few sobs escaped. Gray gently stroked my hair and kept me close.

"It's alright. The nightmare is over already. Whatever you saw, it wasn't true. No one is blaming you," he told me with a soft voice. But how did he know about the dream?

I pushed myself away a bit to look at Gray. He saw the look of puzzlement on my face and gave an understanding smile.

"Was I right? I was just guessing. You have been worried about that for such a long time so it's no wonder you get nightmares..." He looked worried again. I wanted to tell him that I was fine now, but no voice came out.

"It's okay now. I'll stay by your side from now on and when you're all better again, we'll go to missions again together." He sounded sad. What was going on?

I felt confused. Gray held me tightly in his arms and I didn't try to fight back. He buried his head to my shoulder and took a deep breath.

"You have to fight it... You have to win against it..." If I was confused earlier, this made me even more confused. I wanted answers.

I couldn't speak, but I knew that Gray would understand me. So I pulled away from him again and gave him a look that I wanted to know what he was talking about.

His face was twisted in sadness.

"Natsu...You want to know what's going on?" I nodded furiously.

"I understand," he said and patted my head. I felt like he was treating me as I child and I pushed my lips together in annoyance. Gray smiled at this, but it didn't reach his eyes. Now I was the one feeling sad.

"Well... at the lake... you weren't really trying to drown yourself, right?"

I gave a hesitant nod, feeling a bit embarrassed. It wasn't really my fault that he had misunderstood, but somehow I felt like I had been dishonest.

"After you collapsed Master found something out." Gray looked at me and I knew that he was reluctant to continue.

"Natsu you..." Gray's face was filled with worry and sadness as he swallowed. "You are cursed."

It felt like someone had just thrown a bucket of cold water over me. A curse? I must have looked shocked since Gray pulled closer. He looked at me worriedly but decided to continue.

"The curse is controlling your whole body. It's trying to kill you in any way possible and I have no idea what's next. First the drowning, then the massive blood loss.."

I didn't know what to say (not that I even could). I looked at my hands but suddenly they didn't feel like my own anymore._ 'The curse is controlling you whole body...' _The words rang inside my head. I suddenly felt sick and dizzy.

"Natsu, are you okay?" Gray asked but I couldn't answer him. I knew that something was inside me and I wanted it out. Right now.

I could hear my heartbeat. It was so loud.

_Thump, thump, thump_

I couldn't hear Gray's voice anymore. Only the sound of my heart could be heard.

_'Get out, get out, get out of my body!'_ I thought loudly. Gray was shaking my shoulders but I was too concentrated on trying to find the curse inside of me. I couldn't even hear him calling my name over and over again.

_'Get out!' _I shouted inside my mind. I knew something, or rather, _someone_ was in there.

"_No way..."_ a voice then said teasingly inside my head. It echoed through my whole body, making me feel even worse than earlier.

"_I promised to show you hell... So sit back and watch the show as I take control~!" _he sang inside my mind.

_'No! No! Stop it!'_ I would've shouted if I had my voice and held my head. It hurt. Every little thing he said.  
"Natsu, get a grip!" Gray shouted and shook my shoulders once again.

I knew I had to do something. I tried to imagine him inside my mind, running around.

Then, I imagined him running inside a maze and finally coming to a dead-end. Then, I imagined a huge gate being dropped behind him, leaving him trapped.

As the painful feeling was disappeared in a flash, I collapsed into Gray's arms. I felt exhausted. Gray held me in his arms gently and I felt safe there. I didn't want to move from my comfortable spot, and I was grateful when Gray pulled me even closer.

"Was it...the curse?" he asked. I gave a tiny, tired nod.

"Damn it... What am I supposed to do?" Gray said and gritted his teeth. I knew that he felt frustrated and I somehow wanted to tell him that it was alright. So, I gripped his shirt and buried my face in his chest.

_'Just stay here. Don't go anywhere,' _I thought, knowing that even if I had had my voice, I wouldn't have voiced those words.

Gray gently stroked my hair and I could sense that he was calming down.

"I won't go anywhere. I'll stay with you." Those words made me very happy and I lifted my head to look at Gray. I gave a smile as big as I could and suddenly Gray bent over and kissed me.

First, I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. But, his lips felt nice. I felt my face heat up and my eyes closing on their own. Gray pulled me closer and I gripped his shirt even tighter. Then, he deepened the kiss and I clumsily answered it. We stayed for a while before Gray broke away, both of us panting slightly. His face was red, just like mine.

"I-I'm sorry! I just-" Gray tried to explain, but I gave him a reassuring smile.

_'It's okay.'_

Then, I leaned closer and gave a smaller kiss to his lips. I felt a bit embarrassed as Gray stared at me with wide eyes.

"Natsu..." he almost whispered and I turned to look at him, my face still feeling hot.

Then, he gave a smile and said the words I had wanted to hear for some time now.

"I love you."

I felt so happy. A big smile crept to my face and I hugged Gray tightly. He hugged me back and I was sure that he heard my feelings too.

"_I love you too!"_

I felt so safe in Gray's arms that I soon fell asleep. Everything was definitely going to end up alright.

* * *

**If there are mistakes or this seems like sloppy work, I know the reason to that. I am SO TIRED. So, for this once, I won't even care. fuck-everything-week for me.  
Also, I will be taking a break from this story next week so I can finish my work without hapving to stress about this. See you later girls and...are there any guys reading this?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry that this took so long.  
I also have to make an unfortunate announcement: this story might be going on hiatus for a while. It is because my mind is just elsewhere and I can't seem to focus on this story. I will give it a bit space to breathe, if you can understand. It can't stay a weekly update thing or I might lose interest in it completely.  
My cure to keep this story alive is that I will publish a few chapters that (as I explained before) can be skipped.  
Sorry about this once again and I hope that you will like this chapter of Losing hope.  
Also, THE RATING IS CHANGING TO M DUE TO NATSU AND GRAY GETTING A BIT TOO ROMANTIC!  
So, this chapter has some lightly M-rated stuff. Mostly fluff, angst and lots of romance.**

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_**Natsu's POV**_

"He's in here."

I woke up when I felt someone touch my forehead. My body felt uncomfortably hot and the cool hand felt so nice on my forehead.

I slowly opened my eyes to see an old lady looking at me with intense eyes. It took me a while before I recognized the woman. _'If I remember right... She's Porlyusica. Master's friend.' _

I still felt tired. Even more than before. Even my thinking had become slow and I felt like I needed to go back to sleep. I closed my eyes without thinking. My head felt strange and I thought that it was because I had been laying for a long time. But then I remembered, yes, I was cursed.

"Huh...Erza... and Porlyusica!" someone shouted in surprise and I recognized the voice as Gray's.

"Hey, Gray. You really shouldn't be sleeping. You're supposed to watch Natsu so nothing will happen," Erza said.

"I know," Gray sighed. "You came to help Natsu?" he continued.

"Yes."

There was a moment of silence before Erza spoke.

"How is he?"

Porlyusica sighed before saying, "Makarov was right. It's definitely a curse. And a strong one."

"Can you heal him?" Gray asked. Porlyusica removed her hand to my great displeasure and gave a sad sigh.

"I'm afraid that I'm unable to help this child."

I heard it loud and clear. She couldn't help me. I understood that she may have been our only hope. I was going to die.

The tiredness was still there, but I forced my eyes to open. My vision was blurry but I saw Gray standing close to my side and I tried to call out to him. But yea, I didn't have my voice. Thankfully, he noticed.

"Natsu!" He knelt beside me and took my hand in his own. His face was twisted in sorrow. 'It's okay.' I tried to mouth to him and he shook his head before moving our hands to touch his forehead. His grip was so strong that it almost hurt. I could hear him sob.

"Damn it... Why is this happening?" he asked. I wanted to cheer him up, but I couldn't think of anything to say even if I could have spoken.

Porlyusica walked beside me and I turned to look at her. She touched my neck softly and muttered some words. My neck suddenly felt strange. The air seemed to pass much easier than before and all the pain was suddenly gone.

"I can at least do this. I'm very sorry that I wasn't able to help you, child."

I shook my head and I realized that she had just healed my throat.

"It's okay." I was surprised that my voice came out. But still, I couldn't say anything more. I couldn't say that there would be another way for I wasn't sure.

"Isn't there really anything? Anything at all?" Erza asked desperately.

Porlyusica gave a sigh before she spoke.  
"Let me tell you about this curse. It is commonly known as 'the five-day-curse' as it torments the victim for five continuous days. The fifth day is the final, decisive day. Whether he lives or dies depends completely on his willpower. However..." Porlyusica trailed off, seemingly forgetting to speak aloud.

"What is it?" Erza demanded.

"This curse also has another side to it. It has been used by necromancers in the past in order to kill the victim and gain their body to their use. I suggest you figure out who the man is who cast this curse, for if he turns out to be a necromancer, you will have a lot more trouble."

Before we could even gasp, another voice was heard.

"No need, unfortunately. The man who you just talked about was just reported dead by the council. He died in his cell last night. The cause if unknown," Master finished with a heavy tone.

My head was spinning. What was happening? I gave Gray's hand a squeeze, and he did the same for mine. Him being there helped me stay calm.

"Dead? But then the curse should be gone!" Gray almost shouted in desperation. I couldn't see Master, but I imagined that the look on his face was grim.

"No... After doing a throughout search on the man, they found out that he had truly died several years ago."

"So..then.." Erza began with a wavering voice.

"Yes, that man was just a moving corpse. The real enemy is a necromancer."

_**Gray's POV**_

The sun had started to set in the horizon, turning the earlier blue sky into several beautiful shades of red and orange. I knew this even though I wasn't even looking outside, for the room I sat in was bathed in those deep colors.

Had it been a normal evening at the guild, I would have grabbed myself a beer and sat outside or near a window, letting myself relax. However, today wasn't normal and I knew that there was no way for me to enjoy the evening. My chest was tight with worry, anger and frustration and I couldn't deny the feeling of powerlessness as I stared at the unconscious figure resting under the covers on the infirmary bed. I found myself stroking the boy's hand absentmindedly as it was held in my own.

I stared at the pinkette's face for a while before I once again felt a painful twinge inside my chest and I sucked in a deep breath, throwing my head upwards and trying to hold in those tears which wanted to escape again.

_'This can't be happening, it can't be!'_ I thought to myself while running a hand over my face before letting it linger over my mouth.

How was this all possible? We had gone through so much together, but this time it was just him alone fighting this battle.

A tired groan woke me from my thoughts. "Hm? Gray? What's wrong?" I let my hand fall down as I turned to look at the tired dark orbs staring into mine. I managed to smile at him, though I knew it came out as a sad one. "Hey...nothing's wrong. How are you feeling?" My tone was far more soft than I imagined it being, but I knew that Natsu wouldn't mind.  
The boy gave a smile while pushing himself up saying, "good, I'm feeling good." I knew it was a lie by the look in his eyes, but I decided not to say anything about it.

I once again drifted into my own thoughts and it took me a long while to realize how quiet the room had become. Only when Natsu spoke again, his voice sounding loud in the silence, did I notice that even the atmosphere had changed.

"It can't be helped." I looked at the boy in confusion. His eyes had turned intense as he stared at me meaningfully. "This situation can't be helped, so stop looking like that. We'll get through this." His words sounded so naïve, so simple that they couldn't be true.

"How?" I demanded with a slight hiss in my tone, "are we just going to wait it out while you go through all that pain over and over again for five days?" My tone was filled with anger and frustration but I knew that I was venting on the wrong person. Natsu frowned at my words, but even his bothered expression couldn't shut my mouth. "And how do I even know that this won't kill you before those days are over? That guy is a necromancer! Who knows what crazy shit he has planned to do to your body?!" At this point I was already shouting. I was begging myself to stop already as the hurt in Natsu's eyes seemed to increase after every word. "And what good am I, huh? There is no 'we' here, is there? I can only sit here and watch you suffer day after day!" Before I could take another breath to continue my meaningless ramble, Natsu stopped me.

"Gray!" His voice was sharp and loud as he stared at me in anger. I instantly fell silent and my mouth snapped closed. "I get that this is hard for you. It's not any easier for me, either... I don't know what's going to happen and it scares the hell out me," Natsu confessed, his eyes shining with honesty. "-But if we lose hope, then everything will be lost. I won't be able to hold on, even for a day." I looked at Natsu in admiration. I knew that he was right. I had honestly known those things even before I had started talking, but I had despaired and panicked in fear of losing him. He had to go through all that physical and emotional pain, which must have made him feel terrified, yet he didn't lose hope. I shook my head to myself and looked down. I was definitely the worst.

"So, Gray..." Natsu started, his voice filled with strange desperation which caused me to look up. He was looking at me sadly, his eyes shining with strong feelings. "-Don't ever say those things again. I...I need you. If you don't support me...I don't think I can-" Natsu snapped his mouth shut after those words and looked away from me while sucking in a quick breath. He swallowed and stared at the ceiling while blinking. He was...trying not to cry. I was really, truly the worst.

"Oh god.." I breathed and with a swift move, I leaned over Natsu and pulled him into an embrace.

"I'm sorry, Natsu. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have said those things. You have to go through all of this and now I'm acting like such an idiot! I'm supposed to be making you feel better, not like this." I put my hand behind his head and pulled him even closer to myself. "I'm sorry. Things will be different from now on."

I heard Natsu's uneven breaths next to my ear and I felt the way his body relaxed as he let himself go. His body shook with those pure feelings he had held inside as his tears created damp spots on my shirt. He nodded once, then twice, and I knew that he didn't trust his voice that moment.  
I knew that Natsu didn't like anyone seeing him weak and even though he had opened his heart up for me a bit more, he still wasn't too comfortable about crying in front of me. I stroked his pink hair, marveling at the way it curved into those spikes yet stayed so soft.

I felt happy as I realized my duty. I was the one who hid Natsu's true feelings. His tears, his fears... they would all be told to me, no one else. I knew that it was a very important task and it had been given to me.

"I'll protect you. I swear on my life, Natsu, I won't leave you." Those words just seemed to slip from my mouth and I would have felt embarrassed about voicing those thoughts if it weren't for the hands that appeared behind me, pulling me closer that moment.

We stayed in that embrace for a long time until Natsu decided to pull away. I looked at him in affection as his eyes were red and puffy from the earlier tears. He shyly looked into my eyes and managed a smile.

"Thanks," he said with such innocence and honesty that my heart leaped in joy. I smiled back at him and nodded while saying, "you can count on me. I won't mess up from now on." Natsu gave an amused huff and replied, "we'll see about that." It was obviously a lighthearted joke, but I took those words seriously.  
I grasped Natsu's hand tightly in my own and leaned closer to the other. Natsu's eyes widened in surprise as our noses were almost touching. I stared at him in seriousness and desperation.  
"I'm serious. I will support you from now on. You can show all your weaknesses to me, I will carry them all. I'll keep you safe."

"Gray-?" Before Natsu could finish saying my name, I crashed our lips together. Natsu let out a surprised sound as I pushed his body down on the bed, our mouths still connected. I deepened our kiss but I felt that Natsu was hesitating.

I felt my love overflowing. I wanted to show him just how desperately I needed him, how strong my feelings were! I held his hand down next to his head before I reached for his other one and did the same for it.

I broke our kiss, leaving us both gasping and panting. I stared at Natsu's flustered face for a while and the way his eyes were almost closed. He was so cute...so perfect.

I leaned myself down to kiss his neck, earning a hitched breath from the body below.

"G-Gray...!" he gasped my name as I nibbled at the sensitive skin, traveling lower and lower while leaving hickey's behind.

I let my other hand go of Natsu's, letting it travel down his chest and belly before I slipped it under his white shirt. Natsu was about to open his mouth to protest, but I cut it off with a kiss.

A muffled moan was heard from Natsu as I trailed my fingers over his warm skin, slowly making my way higher. I carefully avoided his bandages and reminded myself to be gentle with my actions. I tried to feel every curve on Natsu's body. All the muscles and his ribs.. I wanted to feel them all through his warm skin. I wanted to know everything about him.

I traveled higher up under his shirt before I found a very sweet spot. The little bud was hard and erect which made me unable to resist the urge to give it a pinch. Once I did, Natsu broke our kiss with a surprised shout.

"G-Gray! What are you doing?" His breaths came out fast and deep and I just couldn't help but to continue to massage that tiny spot on his chest with my fingers. Natsu closed his eyes tightly and tried to hold back a moan. I smiled at his sensitivity.

I removed my fingers to lift his shirt up higher, but I was stopped by Natsu's hand.

"Gray, n-not here! Someone could come in!" I was brought to reality by those words. What had I been doing? Did I really just try to..! Realizing that I had been moving completely by my emotions, I pulled myself away from Natsu.

"S-sorry. I...wasn't thinking straight." I looked away from the younger to hide my red face. I heard rustling behind myself and soon I felt two arms making their way around my body. Natsu grasped my open shirt (when had I opened it?!) tightly as he pulled his body against my back.

"It's okay, really. I...want to do it too but... let's wait, okay? When this is all over, I want you to touch me, just like you did." Natsu's voice was silent and wavered in embarrassment, but his words reached me loud and clear. I put my hand on Natsu's and pulled it up to my face before planting a small, affectionate kiss on it.

"Yeah, I'll make sure it will be something special."

Natsu laughed against my back softly, "thanks."

A long silence was shared between us. I felt the body against mine turning relaxed before it slowly fell limp. I listened to Natsu's calm and long breaths for a while, just enjoying the peace. I then removed the pink-haired boy's hands and, as gently as I could, turned around to catch his body to rest him back on the bed. Once his head was back on the pillow I ran my hand through his hair. He was in such deep sleep that he didn't notice anything that I did, but when I trailed my hand down his face he unconsciously snuggled against it. I smiled at him lovingly.

"One day finished, four to go..." I whispered to myself.

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**Reviews guarantee the continuation of this story. Please keep it alive.  
**


	5. Chapter 5 -Skippable-

**Thank you for all the support you have showed me during writing this story. It really means a lot. I apologize that I don't answer the reviews, but I hope that you can understand that I _do _appreciate them all.**

**Important: Like I told before, this chapter is skippable. There are heavy mentions of blood, some gore and bad language.**  
**I hope you will enjoy this (nevertheless) and be sure to leave a review if you did!**

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Day 2

I once again floated through darkness. Unlike before, I felt light and comfortable. I didn't feel like there was any reason to feel afraid, even though there was nothing around me, not even sounds.

I twisted my body around so that I could put my feet down where I figured the ground would be. Even though I couldn't see anything, my feet soon hit something solid and I could walk. I scanned the area around me, hoping to see something. Once I was looking ahead again I noticed a small light. I started walking towards it until the light flashed and I had to close my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again someone familiar sat in an expensive-looking chair in front of me.  
"Gray!" I breathed as a smile rose to my face. The young mage said nothing but stared back at me with a smile. I strode over to him, happy about finding him inside the strange place I had been brought into.

"What are you doing here? Besides, where _is '_here'?" I asked and looked around myself once more, only to find the same, vapid darkness. Surprised by the lack of answer, I looked back to Gray only to find an unnerving smile on his face.

"W-what is it? You're being weird..." Once again, Gray didn't answer. Instead, he cocked his head to the side and continued to stare at me. A long silence fell over us before Gray finally opened his mouth to speak.

"...Natsu..." he breathed with unnatural gentleness. His voice caused me to shiver involuntarily and I took a cautious step backwards. I opened my mouth to ask him what was going on but somehow I couldn't put my thoughts into words. Gray then stood and started walking towards me. He seemed... threatening. Why? As he took steps towards me, I took steps away.  
"Gray.. what's going on?" I asked and noticed that my voice was wavering. Gray's sinister smile grew as the tempo of his steps quickened. When I kept backing away, I suddenly noticed that my back hit an invisible wall. My way to escape was gone. My gaze shifted from the invisible wall to Gray, who was now standing right in front of me. I jumped a bit as I had not expected him to be so close.

"...Natsu..." he breathed once again. It was his body, his voice and his scent, but it wasn't him. It was as if someone was wearing his body to trick me. I felt like I should have known _who, _but I didn't. Like the name and face had been taken from my memory, only leaving the bad feeling behind.

"You're not Gray. Who are you?" I snarled.

The fake-Gray leaned closer to me until our lips were only inches apart, his cool breath tickling my sensitive skin. I swallowed. Everything about him was so familiar, even his cold temperature. It was impossible for me to resist anything that he was about to do. Still, the kiss never landed, even though I had already closed my eyes to accept it.

Gray pulled away and took a step backwards. I was about to ask what he was doing, but then noticed that I was unable to move my body from neck down.

"W-what's going on?! I can't move!" I shouted in surprise and fear. I looked at myself to confirm the feeling before I switched my gaze back to Gray. He was still smiling.

"You're not him," I breathed silently. "You're not him...but why do I feel this way? I want to be close to you. I want you to help me. Gray..."

The fake-Gray's smile grew again as his eyes narrowed.  
"...Natsu..." he breathed once more, but didn't move.

I swallowed, choosing my next words carefully. "Gray.. come back. I want to go home. There is still something we need to do, isn't there?" I wasn't sure what it was, but I knew that there was something important waiting for us.

Gray took a step towards me and I imagined that I saw his smile soften. It caused a smile to spread on my face...before it was wiped out due to an intense pain in my abdomen.  
"G-Gray?" I asked, my voice barely a wheeze as I looked down. What I saw made tears appear in my eyes. There was Gray's hand, holding a knife which was almost completely hidden in my flesh, colored crimson with my blood.

My head felt dizzy and it was hard to breathe. Whether it was due to the pain or the shock, I wasn't sure. He had stabbed me.

With a swift move, the blade was out of me again. I felt how the hot blood poured down from the wound. It had the same, metallic scent as usual but it didn't make it any less sickening. I felt how my shirt got wet and how it stuck into my skin the same way as my pants were starting to. The blood continued to flow, yet I couldn't move to stop it. The only one who could have – the one who _should _have – stopped the bleeding stood in front of me, looking at the blade and in fascination. I felt like I had seen the scene before. Some other time...with someone else.

I could only stare weakly as Gray brought the blade closer to his face...until he licked it. His smile grew wide enough to reveal his teeth as he kept licking the blade as if my blood was the best thing he had ever tasted.

"Stop it...Gray. This isn't you..." I tried to speak reason, but it didn't bring the desired effect. Gray's eyes looked back at me in a flash, a new kind of craze shining in them. Before I could say or do anything else, Gray slashed the small blade across my chest. I shouted in pain, and I was unable to think about anything else for a moment. The next thing I recognized was the blood. Like before, it streamed down from the wound, soaking my skin and clothes. Just when I had realized that the wound was deeper than I thought, the sharp pain attacked again. This time, my upper arm was the target. I screamed over and over again as the blade cut my skin countless of times. I felt like no place was left uncut. After all the screaming and pain, I had to wonder why I hadn't fallen unconscious. I was dizzy, but why couldn't I pass out? It was insane that I was awake during this torture. If the shock wasn't enough, the blood-loss should have been.

The pain on my body was so great that I hadn't even noticed that Gray had stopped. He was once again licking the blade, and I only noticed that he had stopped once the small object was thrown on the floor, making a clattering sound.

I couldn't lift my head to look at the man who did this to me, even if it was the man I loved. No, it wasn't Gray. He looked the same and smelled the same... but it couldn't be him.

Gray's bloody fingers found my hair before he yanked my head upwards to look at him. I saw how his face was twisted into a crazed smile as blood – my blood – covered his face. It was so sickening and twisted that I felt myself losing it. I was going to go crazy at this rate.

The man leaned closer to me before he licked my equally bloodied face. I closed my eyes and imagined myself being somewhere else. I imagined that the man in front of me was the Gray I knew, and this was just him being silly. But it didn't help. I had to open my eyes eventually.

Was this a dream or reality? Nothing made sense anymore. I wanted to wake up. I wanted to see Gray again.

"Gray..." I breathed unintentionally, making the fake-Gray's eyes narrow. Another smile spread on his lips, as if he had thought of something amazing. Before I could wonder about it any more, I felt something appear inside my hand. I tiredly glanced down to see what it was, only to see something that made whatever blood I had in my body freeze. The blade.

Gray stood in front of me, his hands spread in a way that would have called me in for a hug if the situation was different. I knew what was going on even before my hand started to move on its own.  
"NO! Don't make me do this! Not to him! STOP!" I shouted in vain. My body moved on its own and I charged at the man, the blade finding its target, sinking right below his ribs.

It was too late, but I once again found the control over my body. I immediately let go of the blade and stepped back in horror. I stared at my bloodied hands. It wasn't only my blood there. Now there was the blood of the man I loved. The man I-! Once again reminded by what I had done, I looked up to Gray's face.

"Gra-!" I was about to shout in horror, but I found something I didn't expect. Instead of the crazy smile, there was a horrified look on Gray's face. He was staring at the blade before his eyes found me.

"Natsu... why?" he asked before he collapsed on his knees. The strange, unfamiliar man who had injured me was gone and replaced by my Gray. It was only him, truly. And I had stabbed him.

"Gray..?" I asked in shock. We stared at each other for a while before I felt the physical pain attack me once more. I cried out due to the intensity and I collapsed into a heap on the floor. The most disgusting thing was the way that there had been a pool of blood under me and it splashed as I fell.

I tried to breathe in and out through the pain, but it was difficult. Even though I wanted to help Gray, it was hard to even think about anything else put the screaming pain all over my body. My vision was hazy but I still recognized his figure in front of me. He slowly moved closer to me, his bright eyes gleaming with emotion.

"You...hurt me. I'm going to die," he stated, making my heart twist painfully.

"I...it wasn't me... my body...didn't listen to me..." I tried to explain through my pain.

Gray didn't seem to understand my explanation as he leaned closer to me.

His scent...his face... I just wanted to be close to him. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to voice those thoughts but I couldn't. Not in this situation.  
Right when I was sure that Gray was going to grant me one last kiss before I was surely going to die, his mouth went to my ear and he whispered, "_I hate you...Natsu Dragneel._"

It's hard to even begin to describe how I felt when I heard those words. I felt like every promise had been broken, like my entire being was dying... My heart broke.

If all of it wasn't bad enough, the fact that a Gray's hand approached my face, it being cupped to hold the blood on it. As I was about to ask what he was doing, he forced my mouth open and poured the blood into my mouth.

There was way more blood than a handful. It was as if he was pouring it from a pitcher. It filled my mouth and ran down my throat. Soon, I was chocking in it.

My head was going blank, it was so insane. The taste in my mouth, the chocking feeling, the pain, the shock Gray had caused...I was losing it. As I once more glanced up towards Gray, only to find that the mad look had returned, I could almost hear something inside of me snap. After that...there was nothing.

_**-Gray's POV-**_

When I opened my eyes and lifted my upper body up from the bed it had been resting on, I hoped to find Natsu's relaxed sleeping face resting on the pillows like I had seen him last. Unfortunately, the curse that plagued Natsu wasn't even going to grant us a peaceful morning, I noticed, when I saw his face twisted with discomfort. His mouth was slightly open and strangled pants escaped them with an uneven rhythm. I immediately rested my cold hand against his cheek in an attempt to give him some kind of comfort only to notice the thin layer of sweat that had gathered on his skin.

I stared at Natsu, a bit scared as I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I noticed that my own breathing was quickening as I tapped Natsu's cheek gently and called for his name.  
"Natsu... Natsu, wake up. It's just a nightmare...I'm here, you hear? Open your eyes...!" I knew it was worse than a nightmare. I knew that he was seeing something that was created by the necromancer in order to hurt him – to kill him and so it was definitely something sick and twisted.

I kept calling Natsu's name over and over again, as well as tapping his cheek in an attempt to wake him in vain as he kept his eyes tightly closed. I could only wait for the nightmare to pass and until then, watch him suffer.

Natsu's breaths grew quicker and more frantic as slight moans started reaching my ears. They grew louder slowly but after an agonizingly long hour, they had almost turned into screams. By that time, Natsu's body had started to fight against something invisible, his arms and legs flailing uncontrollably.

Still, I kept calling Natsu's name and telling him to wake up as I rested my body against him in order to keep himself from hurting himself. Natsu fought against me with all his strength - which was no way weak even if he was hurt and cursed – causing him to land many successful punches and kicks on my body. I felt a bruise starting to form on my cheek after he had hit me and the metallic taste of blood appearing inside of my mouth. I ignored my aching body as it got beaten and just focused on holding Natsu down.  
It just went on and on. I wasn't even sure how many hours had passed or when Natsu's voice had become hoarse from all the screaming. Still, it didn't stop and I was growing exhausted.  
"Damn it, Natsu! Wake up!" I shouted like I had done for so many times already. Unfortunately, Natsu made no move to do so and just kept thrashing. I knew I needed to do something to make him snap out of it. Something to tell him he was safe and with me. I breathed heavily as sweat fell down my brow. What was it? What could make him calm down? In my state, I could only do what my body told me. I made sure that I sat on Natsu's legs before I pushed his unwilling hands down on the bed, right next to his head like I had last evening. Then, I rested my head next to his, right over his shoulder.  
"I'm here, you hear? Everything is fine. It's just a nightmare, you're safe," I whispered into his ear as calmly as I could but I heard the tightness in my voice that was caused by all the worry and stress.

"I'm so close to you, can't you feel? You always are so proud of that good nose of yours so can't you smell me here?" Unfortunately, my words had no effect as Natsu kept screaming his lungs out and fighting against me. I let out a strangled gasp before tears started stinging in my eyes. What could I do?_ Could_ I even do anything? Was I going to betray Natsu's trust right after I had made him a promise. Then, Natsu gasped out something that made me snap out of my despair. A name, my name.

"G-Gray!" It was just that small thing that made me realize that I _needed_ to wake him up and end his nightmare. He was counting on me. I was able to take a deep breath and calm myself down again. I pushed myself up slightly and stared at Natsu's face, still holding his hands down. That pretty face could not be allowed to be twisted in such pained expression for any longer. I just hoped that my love would be enough to make it better again. I leaned down again, but this time I was approaching Natsu's face. I let my mouth linger over his, his hot breaths mixing with mine before I cut them off. There was a small, strangled gasp that escaped Natsu and for a moment I hoped that it had worked, but then he quickly turned his head away from me, his eyes still tightly closed.

I shook my head, trying to keep myself together. What else was there? I didn't want to hurt Natsu and I doubted that it would help him anyway. I needed to tell him that I as here somehow. But how? It had been no use using my scent or a kiss, so what could be stronger than that?

Then, a crazy idea hit me. I had no idea why it would work, but I was getting desperate. Natsu was strangely like an animal. He had strong senses, especially his sense of smell, so why not others too? It was a weird idea, but I didn't know what else to do. I stared at Natsu's face before I bit my lip as hard as I could_._ A wince escaped my mouth involuntarily as the pain and disgust hit me. A small piece of skin and flesh was almost completely chunked off, but still left dangling on the skin on my lower lip. If it wasn't disgusting enough, the blood that flowed steadily over my tongue surely was. Then, trying to forget all my discomfort, I leaned down again and kissed Natsu. I let my bloodied tongue slip into his open mouth and made sure that he tasted the same as me. My blood.

Natsu thrashed against me for a while longer before he calmed. I had to wonder if I had cut off his air and suffocated him as I had not been gentle with my kiss. I leaned away from the other and saw my blood and saliva make a red string between our lips before it cut off. There was blood on his lips and it hit me again what I had done.

_'Shit... I must be going crazy. What was I thinking, forcing Natsu to taste my blood?'_ After that thought had passed, came the realization that it had worked. Natsu was completely limp now, his mouth open in tired breaths as he just looked more exhausted than ever. All the pain seemed to be gone from his features, and even though his eyes were still closed, I felt so relieved.

I finally let myself take calm breaths and lean back from the other. I pushed myself down from the bed and situated myself on the chair again. I cursed silently as I felt the blood rush into my legs again, causing a sharp tingling sensation. Fortunately, the pain on my lip was much worse and so I could focus on it rather than my legs. I ran my tongue over the wound and felt the piece of flesh again. I grimaced a bit before I lifted my hand up to my mouth and located the chunk before I yanked it off. This time I could avoid wincing even though it had hurt. I flicked the skin on the floor without thinking about it as I pulled the lip inside my mouth as if to heal it. Thankfully, the bleeding stopped quickly and I could focus my attention to the most important thing.  
Natsu still hadn't opened his eyes, but from the calm breaths and his expression I could tell that he was only in a light sleep. Feeling a bit disgusted about the blood on Natsu's lips, I got up and went to the sink that was in the corner of the infirmary before I wet a clean cloth that was on a clean pile on the edge of it. I then walked back to his side and managed to even smile a bit in relief as I cleaned his lips with soft touches. Right when I was finishing, his eyes fluttered open and I retreated my hand.

"Hey there...how are you feeling?" I asked softly and waited for him to move his confused gaze from the ceiling to me. Once he did do it – very slowly – his eyes suddenly opened up in horror as he stared into my eyes. His mouth opened up in a silent scream as his breath hitched.

"N-Natsu? What's wrong?" As soon as the question had left my lips, the silent scream turned into a real one as Natsu tried to scramble away from me.

"NO! NO! **NOO**!" He shouted and I could only stare at him in shock. He had only seen my face. Wasn't he supposed to be happy and relieved? Then why was he afraid of me?

As Natsu fell to the floor on the other side of the bed and backed away so he was leaning against the next bed, I realized that something had changed Natsu. The nightmare. It had shown Natsu something about me and convinced him that I was bad and evil.

Only then I truly understood how the necromancer worked. He wasn't just trying to inflict physical damage on Natsu. He wanted to tear him apart, his mind and soul, twisting him and manipulating him until he would break. The realization was so strong and shocking that it left me unable to function. I could hear Natsu's quick breaths in the background accompanied by his panicked screams but I wasn't able to lift my head to see his panicked and fear- filled eyes staring into mine.  
I was supposed to keep him safe, but now I'm the one he fears.

–

Fortunately, Natsu regained his senses that evening. He had passed out after he had woken from his nightmare, but woken up after couple of hours. After that it took me the entire day to reassure him that everything was alright and that what Natsu had seen was truly just a sick nightmare. Once Natsu had managed to collect himself, he had shared his experience in full detail. It had taken time, and he had not managed to finish without shedding tears. Hell, even I had cried when he wasn't looking – the situation was just so fucked up.

With everything explained and Natsu's mind functioning again, we sat in complete silence on the edge of his temporary bed. Natsu had found comfort in snuggling against me and I had draped my arm around his shoulders so that he could be even closer. The closeness felt nice and I would have enjoyed it so much more if it wasn't for everything that kept happening to us.

"Do you think we can do this?" Natsu then asked with a quiet and tired voice. I put my hand on Natsu's head and ran my fingers through his hair softly. I was glad that Natsu said 'we' despite him having to actually deal with the effects of the curse himself.

"We just have to." That was all I could say. The other option – losing – meant death, maybe worse for Natsu. I wasn't going to let it happen, no matter how messed up things would keep happening.

As we stared out the window, not really realizing how the sun set beautifully, I found myself thinking,

_'Two days gone...Three more to come.'_

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**I don't have a beta, so I apologize if there are any mistakes. I hope that I haven't made any crucial plot-mistakes, but at this point I can't even be sure. To be honest, I really have to force the text and I am forgetting to check all the facts (I wrote the beginning ages ago and so I might have forgotten some things). If you read through it and notice something strange, please point it out so I can rewrite some things. I really can't go back and check it all.  
Thanks for reading, until next time.  
**


	6. Chapter 6 -Skippable-

**How long has it been? Forever? Yeah, sounds about right. But here you have twice the length of the usual chapters as an apology (kinda).**

**I hope you haven't forgotten that this chapter is still SKIPPABLE, so if you don't want to read something more sick than anything I've written before, now is the time to just leave and come back next chapter when the content is more suitable.**

**WARNING: rating strictly M at the end.**

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Day 3 – (I give up)

The dawn had broken hours ago but I had yet to catch any sleep. I was sitting on the floor and resting my body against the metallic frame of the bed behind me where my lover (could I call him that?) was resting, hopefully seeing peaceful dreams for a change. My brain was too tired to actually process any thoughts and so I had to settle for staring at the wall and the window with a blank look on my face. I knew that I had been sitting there for too long and my body was starting to ache, but I couldn't muster the strength to move.

I probably would have stayed in that position for hours to come if it wasn't for the sound of rusting sheets that came behind me, accompanied by a long and tired groan. I whirled around, my heart squeezing tightly as I feared for a moment that I might find Natsu fighting another nightmare, but I was glad to find his dark eyes open and a gentle smile spreading on his face as he recognized me. I instantly felt myself relax and I allowed my tired smile to appear.

"Morning," I greeted him silently.

"Morning.." he told me back, his voice a bit more raspy than mine. We stayed there for a while, just letting the moment sink in for a while. It was so calm and quiet... As I stared into Natsu's eyes I knew that he was thinking the same thing – the moment wouldn't last forever. Soon, something would happen that would once again put our endurance to a test. Whatever it would be I just hoped that it wouldn't be too much for Natsu. He needed to live. I couldn't lose him.

As those thoughts entered my mind they brought a wave of feelings along with them and so I had to divert my gaze away from Natsu's to hide my eyes that had began to tear up.

"Gray?" Natsu asked, his voice alarmed and worried. I knew that I needed to stay strong for him even though it was difficult to hold myself together. I lifted my head again and forced a reassuring smile.  
"I'm okay." I lifted my hand to brush Natsu's bangs back as they were obscuring my view to his pretty dark eyes. I could genuinely smile once I could once again see those curious orbs staring at me. Doubt lingered in his those eyes for a moment as he studied me and wondered if he should press on the subject. I just retreated my hand and placed it reassuringly on his as it was curled up close to his chest. He then gave a short sigh, seemingly willing to move on, as he shifted closer to me and intertwined his fingers with mine.

He stared at our hands in silence as a soft smile formed on his lips.  
"Your hands are cold." I held Natsu's hand a bit tighter after hearing those words and I leaned closer to put my forehead against his.

"Your hands are warm."

Our gazes met briefly before we leaned in even further, letting our lips connect. It was a long and understanding kiss and I could feel how the coldness, that had appeared in my heart during these difficult past days, was warming up and healing my fears. This closeness and affection... it was a medicine.  
We pulled back from each other and continued to stare at each other lovingly in complete silence. Then, a loud rumbling sound caused my eyes to open wide in surprise. Natsu's look mirrored mine before it turned sheepish and a blush appeared on his face.

"Sorry. That's my stomach. I'm pretty hungry." I couldn't help but to laugh and ruffle Natsu's hair as I pulled back.

"That's good to hear. You haven't really been eating well these days. Will you be okay if I take a quick trip to the kitchen and get you something?" I asked and received an enthusiastic nod from Natsu.  
"Yeah! Oh, and if Mira is there, ask her if she has my favorite ice-cream in the cooler. It's really been too long since I had those," Natsu told me, his eyes shining with child-like excitement with the thought of his favorite dessert.

I could only smile at him.  
"Yeah. I won't be long." Saying that, I pretty much ran out of the infirmary and headed downstairs. I was going to make sure that Natsu got all his favorite foods.

The thought of him eating with a big appetite made me smile and quicken my pace even more.

I was going to make him so happy.

–

It had taken me a good twenty minutes to get everything that I wanted arranged on a big tray, along with Natsu's ice cream. There were five different meals, all squeezed tightly against each other as they were still steamy and hot. I had chosen a very sweet juice that I had somehow managed to fit in as well. I was sure that Natsu would like it. Mira had also been kind enough to put a bright, yellow flower at the edge of the tray as a get-well-charm.  
If this wasn't going to make Natsu feel overjoyed and forget about everything bad that was going on for a moment, nothing would. I gave Mira a quick "Thank you!" before I carefully made my way back upstairs.

I couldn't deny the way that my heart beat rapidly as I was wondering what Natsu's reaction would be. Maybe I could ask for a 'thank you'-kiss? At that thought, I couldn't help but to smile so widely that my cheeks were starting to hurt. I felt like a pervert for a moment, but it was quickly forgotten as I stood before the infirmary door.

I struggled with getting the door open for a moment before I could finally walk in.

"Sorry for the wait! I brought you-!" My sentence died in the air as I noticed that the bed was empty.  
"Natsu?" I asked and looked around the room once more. He wasn't there.

As the silence hit me with full force, my smile disappeared completely as the blood in my veins froze in terror.

I ran towards the bathroom door and heard the sound of shower being used. I didn't bother (not that I could with the tray still in my hands) knocking as I tried to push the door open. I became alarmed as I noticed that it was locked.

"Natsu!" I shouted once and didn't wait for an answer as I used my body weight to break the door open.

When the door collided with the bathroom wall, I had already understood the entire situation. My world seemed to work in slow-motion after that. My breath caught in my throat and I let go of the tray in my hands, it having no importance that moment. I ran towards the tub across the room and faintly I could hear all the plates shattering as they hit the floor behind me but it didn't matter. Nothing else mattered than what I was seeing.

The tub was overflowing with water as the shower kept filling it up, though it had long since become full enough. A familiar body rested inside the tub, his body completely underwater. If I had time and enough breath in my lungs, I would have been screaming his name, but now I could only focus on getting him out.

I hit the side of the tub with uncontrolled force, but I didn't notice the pain as I lunged towards the body in the water. I grabbed his shirt tightly as I yanked him up. The cool water splashed over me as I got Natsu's upper body out of the water. Seeing his unconscious state, I knew it wasn't enough and so I pulled his entire body out in haste. I could faintly hear my own pants and groans as I laid Natsu's body on the tiles in front of me.

I gulped once, as I tried to get my shaking hands to work.  
"Natsu!" I shouted as I shook his shoulders. His eyes remained closed and the reality started to sink in. He was pale. His chest wasn't moving.

Natsu was...

"NO! Don't you dare!" I shouted as I tapped his cheek. I leaned closer to his body and tried to get my own to work. My breaths were wheezy with panic as I shook uncontrollably. I put my ear against his chest and listened.

_'Come on.. come on!'_ I thought to myself, hoping to hear that sweet, steady thump of his beating heart. It never came.

"No, no, no... You're not leaving me! Not like this! Not now!" I shouted as tears fell from my eyes without any control. I quickly forced the memories of the emergency training we had had to do once into my head and ran through them quickly.

I tilted Natsu's head upwards before I leaned towards him and pinched his nose closed. I connected our mouths, but this time it was so different. Natsu's lips were cold...and he was dying. I breathed in once, then twice before I pulled away and started my next task.

I put my hands on Natsu's unmoving chest and started pumping. The way I felt his ribs move under my fingers with the rhythm of my pumps was sickening and so I tried to focus on the counting.

_'6..7..8..9..'_

I saw how Natsu's head lolled to the side as his body rocked with my quick pumps and I chocked back a sob. Tears still ran down my face like never before and salty drops fell on my hands.

"Come on! Breathe, damn it!" I shouted and this time, couldn't stop my sob. My body was protesting against the stress I was going through and it was telling me to stop – to calm down and relax – but I couldn't, no matter how I wished to do so. I wanted to cry until no more tears would come and I would feel refreshed again, but I knew that if stopped, no tears were going to make me feel better ever again.

_'27...28...29...30!' _I thought before I leaned back towards Natsu's face and breathed air into his lungs again.

I panted as I pulled away from him and stared at his emotionless, lax face. I checked his pulse again before continuing my pumps.

"Natsu! Don't die! Please!" I gasped as another sob cut of any words I was about to say next. I looked back at his face and cried, "I love you so much...! I can't live without you! So please...don't leave me!" I had never heard my voice sounding so broken and pathetic, like I was a child again, but I couldn't honestly care less.  
I couldn't look at his lifeless face any longer and so I focused on my hands that pumped the clothed chest down again and again.

I repeated my actions over and over again, pumping his chest before breathing air into his lungs without any reaction from Natsu.

The situation was getting hopeless and my strength was running out. My pumps were starting to become uneven, just like my breaths as I was starting to realize that Natsu might really not make it.

I glanced back at Natsu once again during my pumps and I suddenly remembered the mastermind behind all of this. The knowledge of the necromancer's curse made anger rise inside of me, bringing along strength that I didn't know I had. I gritted my teeth and kept pumping again, this time more steadily.

I shook my head as I stared at my hands.

"I'm not giving you to him! I told you I'd keep you safe and I plan on doing that! You're – not – going – to - die!" I said between my pumps before I leaned towards Natsu's face again and gave him a kiss before breathing air into him. Before I could finish my next breath, Natsu's body jerked. I pulled away as Natsu coughed and jerked even more violently than before as he tried to get air into his lungs. He was a gasping and wheezing mess, but he was alive.

The relief made my heart race and I quickly pulled Natsu's body against mine so that he could breathe easier. He kept coughing and gasping in air greedily as I rubbed comforting circles on his back. His hands found my shirt and he clutched it with a death-grip as he started shaking. He pulled himself as close to me as he could, seeking comfort and safety in my arms, which I gladly provided him. His breaths got steadier, but they soon turned into heart-breaking sobs.

I held Natsu's body close to mine as he curled into a ball between my legs and cried. I felt my own heart race, just like Natsu's did too. My breaths were barely calmer than pants as I rubbed Natsu's arm.  
"It's okay, you're safe. It's okay..." I kept chanting as I rested my head against Natsu's. I wasn't sure if I was trying to reassure myself or the shaking teen in my arms more.

"I-I was-! Oh, Gray! I was drowning!" Natsu told me between his sobs, his voice filled with terror.

"Shh, you're okay. Just calm down, okay?" Natsu nodded against my chest as he tried not to start hyperventilating. I noticed that he was on the brink of it a couple of times and so I kept rubbing his arm slowly and soothingly. His breaths slowly calmed to the slow rhythm of my hand's movement as he slumped against me.

I knew that I should have pulled us up and found dry clothes for Natsu before putting him back to bed to rest, but I had no strength to move any more.

"I almost lost you..." I said as I stared at the messy entrance where the tray had fallen. The plates had all broken, just like the glass pitcher had, and all the delicious meals were a big, wet mess on the floor. Natsu's ice-cream was just a melted puddle now.

Natsu answered by pushing his head against my chest and holding my shirt a bit tighter than before.

Once again, the curse had tortured us to our limits. Natsu had been so close to death...and I had been so close of losing him.

As we sat there, shivering from the cold as our wet clothes stuck to our skin, I wondered once again if we could truly win this fight.

– _**M rated stuff from here on! - **_

The room was filled with a tense silence. All the three mages present wore a tired frown while standing or sitting completely still.

Natsu was sitting on his bed, staring at his hands that were clutching the covers which Gray had pulled up to offer him some warmth and comfort. He had already dried off his clothes with his magic after having calmed himself down, unlike Gray who had refused Natsu's offer. The older mage had stripped down to his underwear and lazily thrown his wet clothes on the floor. His attention had been completely focused on Natsu ever since his drowning-incident a little over an hour ago. He sat as close to the pink-haired boy's bed as possible, but didn't touch him in any way due to the third person in the room.

Erza had come in some time after the first shock had passed and Gray had managed to carry Natsu back onto his bed. Seeing the two soaked boys with lingering fear and shock written on their faces had scared Erza more than she wanted to admit. They had had to go through something terrible without anyone being there for them and that fact pained her more than the terrible situation itself. The feeling of guilt only increased when the boys had explained everything that had happened.

The red-haired was now leaning to a wall, finally having calmed herself to her usual cool, unsure what the next course of action should be. She glanced at her friends and frowned. It was clear that they were at their limit. Unable to even fall asleep due to the fear of nightmares and having to be afraid of dying in some horrible way all the time, Natsu wasn't going to be able to stay sane for much longer. Gray wasn't much better, Erza knew. Having to watch his friend go through...- Erza paused the thought. She suddenly noticed something new. The way the two boys would meet their gazes every once in a while... the way Gray stayed so close to Natsu's bed, clearly not willing to move even if he was ordered to, and the way his entire posture had changed...

"_Oh," _Erza thought to herself, "_there is love in the air." _The realization made her smile a bit. Maybe things weren't so bad after all. The two had each other for support, which didn't really flip the situation around, but it did make Erza feel a bit more optimistic. Maybe the two of them could somehow pull through this and the two remaining days?

"Are you okay?" Gray suddenly asked, making Erza snap out of her thoughts. At first she wondered if the raven-haired had spoken to her but when she saw how Gray had leaned closer to Natsu, it was very clear that all his attention was on the younger now. She couldn't help but to smile at the two once again. It was a very sweet scene, after all.

Natsu had a tired frown on his face as he rubbed his temple slowly. "Yeah, it's just a headache..." An even deeper frown appeared on Gray's face as worry colored his features.

"Maybe you should lay down for a bit?" the older suggested, but Natsu waved him off.

"I'm okay, don't worry."

"With what you just went through? I doubt it," Gray argued back.

"I'm telling you – it's just a headache."

"Stop being so stubborn and just lay down!" By that point, Gray had gotten up and pretty much forced Natsu to do as he was told. The younger grumbled but finally accepted his fate as he let his head fall onto the pillow.

Gray smiled with satisfaction but Natsu seemed much less content with the situation.

"I won't sleep," Natsu told stubbornly, much like a small child. Erza would have found it hilarious if the situation had been different.

"I can tell you're tired and you need sleep. I'm going to be here – and Erza too -" Gray corrected himself quickly, "-so it's okay. We'll keep you safe."

From where she was standing, Erza couldn't read the complex look on Natsu's face that moment. The look the two were sharing clearly had some kind of secret message, a serious one, but Erza wasn't really sure what it was. She recognized uncertaintly, maybe a question of if it was alright to trust what the older teen was telling, from Natsu's eyes but anything more than that was a mystery.

Gray then smiled reassuringly and Erza didn't miss the way that his hand rose before setting back down to his side, curved into a fist. It was cute how they were trying to act subtle about their true feelings.

"Trust me, okay?" The older teen told, his eyes filled with such determination that it was hard to believe that they had just been filled with despair and fright just an hour ago. The strong emotion visible also reassured the person it was meant to, and so Natsu gave a nod before letting out a long sigh and closing his eyes.

Erza and Gray stared at the youngest in the room long after his breaths had already turned slow and even as the frown on his features had melted away.

Gray had settled on the chair again, his smile having turned slightly more tired than before.

"Thanks for being here, Erza," Gray then told, his voice barely stronger than a whisper. The sudden thanks surprised the said woman and so it took a moment before she was able to speak a response.

"It's no problem... I'm sorry that I can't do much more than this."

Gray finally turned to look at the red-head properly. "Just to know that there is people there if we need it means a lot."

Erza could only smile as a response. She smiled due to the kind words, but more so due to Gray using 'we' as he spoke. Maybe it was time to tease him a bit?

"Still... it seems like I might be a bother to you two. It would be too embarrassing to make out with me being here, right?" Erza said casually and smirked. Gray's head had already turned back to look at the unconscious figure on the bed, but now it snapped back to look at the woman with wide eyes and open mouth. He jaw moved up and down, not able to form a sentence, as a deep red color appeared on his face and ears.

"I-I-! That's-! NO! It's not-, I mean, I-!" he stuttered before he settled for just closing his mouth and sinking his face into his hands as he leaned as low as he could in his chair. Erza could almost see steam rising from his face. _"Oh, young love...!"_ She thought and was ready to tease him a bit more before she saw movement on the bed. Natsu had apparently heard Gray's outburst and woken up.

The redness in Gray's face faded as his attention was on the boy on the bed, who was now sitting up.

"Hey, sorry for waking you," the older male told to the younger, watching his movements carefully. Natsu looked up at Gray with confused eyes, not saying a word. It really looked like he had already been in a really deep sleep and could not make sense of anything that was happening.

Then, there was a sweet smile on his face as he quickly spread his arms and leaned towards Gray until he was able to hug the older.

"Gray!" he told happily, his tone sweet and innocent like it belonged to a small child. Though Natsu embraced Gray firmly, the older seemed too perplexed to move.

"N-Natsu? What's with you so suddenly?"

Only Erza was able to see how Natsu's expression changed next. The smile on his face turned into something completely different from before. This smile was sinister and didn't belong to Natsu's features at all. The same instant it appeared, a deep feeling of dread bloomed inside Erza's gut. Unfortunately, everything just happened too quickly for her to do anything.

"I just wanted to hug you...after all, you're my dear Gray," Natsu told, his voice gaining the same evil that his face already wore. Before Gray could register what was happening and understand that it wasn't Natsu he was talking to, a strong punch landed to his gut, sending him sprawling on the floor with a gasp.

Erza was too focused on the evil magic that started swirling around Natsu's figure to help Gray. It was so dark and evil that she recognized instantly who it belonged to. How it was possible that he was there, she had no idea. She could only stare at the smile on Natsu's face as he looked down at his victim.

Gray tried to hold onto his consciousness while attempting to get air back into his lungs. He was able to crack his eye open in a try to focus his vision to look at the boy standing in front of him.

"Y-you-!" Gray gasped, but was unable to form a sentence before his coughs interrupted him.

"It seems like you recognize me. I'm happy." It was clear that it wasn't Natsu who was speaking. Even though his voice was the same, the way he spoke was completely different.

"You're the necromancer...!" Erza gasped, unable to act due to the shock. "But it's too soon!"

Natsu – or rather, the necromancer – turned around to look at the red-haired woman with irritation. "My name is Garius. I'm offended that you haven't even bothered to find that out." The man crossed his arms and seemed to _pout _for a moment, which caused Erza to finally snap out of her first shock.

"Get out of his body! You're not taking him!" she threatened and prepared herself to fight against the man even if it would mean injuring Natsu's body in the process. A few bruises would be a cheap price to pay in this situation.

"Now, now, don't get hasty," Garius told and lifted his hands up in defence. He then smiled, making Erza's anger rise in whole new levels – seeing her friend's body being used by someone else.

The man walked over to the window, completely ignoring the barely conscious figure on the floor as if he didn't even exist anymore. He smiled at the afternoon sky as he held his arms behind his back – an action Natsu never did – before turning to look at the now-furious mage. "Like you say, it's too soon for me to get this body. It's still too...alive, you see," Garius said and smiled in a twisted way. The fury it caused inside Erza was nothing she had felt before. This _bastard_ was toying with not only Natsu, but all of them!

"Even though it will be a short time, it feels so thrilling to have an alive body again...! Ah, it gets me so excited that it's hard to control myself...!" he said as his breaths quickened and strange lust filled his eyes. Before Erza could even react, the man ran his hands over Natsu's chest before the other one went lower and lower until he reached a very personal part of the boy's body. "Ahhnn...! Like I thought, it feels _amazing_...!" he moaned as he kept groping Natsu's crotch.

Erza finally snapped. "You sick bastard!" she shouted and charged at the boy with a raised fist. What happened next was too fast for a normal human to follow.

The boy – or rather, the necromancer inside of him – threw his elbow back with enough force to shatter the double layer window and grabbed a piece of glass. Before Erza had time to reach the boy, he had put the sharp piece of glass against his neck and held a hand out to stop the woman.

"Stop," he told and that exact instant Erza stopped her momentum, leaving her fist in the air.

A smirk rose to the boy's face as he knew that he had won. "Come closer and I will kill him this instant."

Erza had no other choise but to fall back. It wasn't like her anger wasn't enough, the fear of losing Natsu just was far greater.

"That's good. Oh, and I am sure that you realize that I am very serious. It's not like I haven't tried to kill him before, right?" the man said and smiled evilly, making sure to show properly the thin line of blood he had just drawn on Natsu's neck, as well as the wounds on his arm for smashing the window.

"Enough with games! What are you after?!" Erza shouted angrily.

A strange, sympathic look appeared on Natsu's face. Like he was pitying someone inferior to him in a mocking way. "I just told you, didn't it?" he started before the earlier sinister smile, along with the lust-filled eyes were back. "I finally have a young, live body, even for just while. This is the only chance I have to experience the joys that being alive offers! That is something that I haven't been able to feel in at least a hundred years! That's why-" he stared deeply into Erza's eyes, making sure that he got his point across. "-you should just stand there like a good girl or he's dead."

Erza hadn't thought that the entire situation would change so suddenly and violently. How long had it been since she had seen Natsu and Gray speaking together? Ten minutes? Maybe even less? This man – Garius – appeared too quickly and turned everything upside down. Even though she had thought she could keep Natsu safe for sure, how was he there now – about to lose his life once again? No...there was a choice after all. Let the man molest him, or be killed.

Erza felt her mouth trembling. It wasn't a choice for her to make. Yet, there she was, having to choose for her dear childhood friend. She couldn't do it. It was too horrible. How had she ended up there again? Maybe there was a way to reverse this all, to go back in time and re-do it all? Unfortunately, the truth was there in front of her; the situation was the worst and wasn't going to change.

"Hm? Looks like you can't even speak. That's fine, too," the man told before lifting his free hand up towards his face and marvelling it. "Such a nice, healthy color..." he almost whispered before bringing the hand to his mouth and kissing the knuckle of the boy's index finger softly. A wide smile spread on his face and he retreated the hand. "Ah! This warmth...! I can't resist it!" he told, his voice and face twisted with sickening glee. He brought the palm to his nose and inhaled deeply. "This scent... it's so amazing!" He gave it a long lick, making his way all the way to the tip of the middle finger before kissing the tip as if he was cleaning the fingers after eating something messy. "Exquisite," he told as he stared at the hand with that sick smile.

"You bastard...!" A groan was then heard from the floor. Both Erza and Garius turned their heads to see where the voice had come from. Gray had managed to lift himself up to one knee and was holding the bedframe for support as he glared at the boy in front of the window.

"Oh, you're awake! Actually, that's just perfect," Garius told as he used Natsu's hand to snake under his shirt and reach up to his chest, making sure to reveal the skin as much as he could. "I didn't want you to miss how slutty your boyfriend's body is, after all!"

Gray's breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened as he finally understood what was going on. "No! No! Stop it!"

If possible, the smirk on Natsu's face seemed to widen even more. "Oh, especially now, I definitely won't! Not after seeing that wonderful face you can make!" he told and lifted the shirt even higher, revealing Natsu's pink nipples before rubbing one of them experimentally. "This is how you did it, isn't it, _Gray?_ This is how you touched his body before...!" he shouted in excitement.

Gray felt so many emotions at the same time that he felt unable to function. He was furious, and scared out of his mind for Natsu but now due to the last sentence, mortified. This was so humiliating, both for him and Natsu. What they had shared was supposed to be secret and personal, but this guy had watched it all!

"He loved it, you know? The way you touched him... It made him so excited! He wanted so much more, too. It's too bad that he is so shy in front of people. You should hear how he is just begging me to stop right now."

Erza and Gray had thought that it couldn't get any worse. They were once again wrong.  
"He's conscious...right now?" Erza managed to force the question out of her mouth.

An innocent smile appeared on Natsu's face. "Oh yes, very much so. He can see everything that is going on. He says hi," Garius tells and laughs before his grin is back.

Erza and Gray stare at the man for a while, too shocked to move, before they try to find some form of reassurance in each others' eyes. Unfortunately, they find none.

Garius runs Natsu's hand up and down his torso, experimenting how the body would react. "Ohh, it's so wonderful how sensitive he is! It feels so good~!"

Gray tried to ignore the way Natsu's body was reacting; how his cheeks were flushing and how his breath was quickening at his own touches. He had no idea what to do. Natsu's life was on the line and there was no way he could be quicker than Garius had been just now with Erza. It would only take one quick slash to cut the artery in Natsu's neck and that would be it. Natsu would be dead in moments, even if there was help present. The amount of blood he had lost before had already been dangerous enough, losing any more would be impossible for him to handle. There was just no way Gray could risk Natsu's life. Not now.

"Natsu...!" he started and looked at the face of his loved one, even though it was now someone different controlling it. He knew he was begging but he didn't know what else to do. "You have to hold it together, okay? I know you're in there so just listen to me. I'm going to be here until this is over so it's going to be okay. What ever he does, I won't see you differently. We will get through this, okay?"

Garius was staring at Gray in surprise. "You really are a tough one, aren't you? Well," he said and switched his evil smirk back on again, "we'll see how long you can keep that up, won't we?"

Gray clenched his fists and stared at the floor for a while. "Erza.." he then started. The woman turned to look at him, her face twisted with uncomfort and fear. "Please get out," he continued. "And... don't tell anyone else about this. I...don't want anyone else to look at him."

Erza stared at her friend in shock. "Gray..!" she gasped, not wanting to abandon the two boys now. This only caused Gray to look at Erza in fury before he shouted, "GET OUT!"

Erza was so startled with the sudden shout that she jumped a bit. Then she gave Garius one more angry glare before turning to leave. Once she was at the door she looked back at Gray, wanting to say something – anything – to make him feel better, but finding that there was no words for her to say. Feeling defeated, Erza could only bite her lip and leave.

Once she had closed the door behind her and walked away, she leaned to a wall before sliding to the floor. Tears of frustration appeared instantly. She felt so ashamed for leaving her best friends behind – so close with only a single door between them – knowing that she could go back at any moment, but not being able to. It was one of the most horrible feelings she had experienced in her life. She hadn't been able to do anything, _nothing _at all.

She had been wrong about Gray and Natsu. They had already realized their feelings and confessed them to each other. They were a couple already. It was understandable now how Gray had reacted, the way he didn't want anyone else to see Natsu's body. He had the right to see it. Their bodies were something they were supposed to share together in an intimate moment where they felt comfortable about doing so, not like this. This thought only caused more tears to fall as Erza covered her face with her hands.

There wasn't anything she could do for the two. If she went to find help, it would just lead up to someone causing even further mental damage to Natsu in the end, if not cause his death. She couldn't do it. The only thing she could do was sit there in the hallway and prevent anyone from going in. It was so little, but she couldn't do anything else.

–

"How thoughtful of you. You didn't want her to see his lewd body any more than this, did you?" Garius asked and gave a laugh while rubbing Natsu's side. Gray just held his head low for a moment before he lifted his gaze again.

"Don't worry, Natsu. I'm going to be here the whole time. I won't let you go through this alone." After saying those words, Gray shut his mouth and promised not to say another word before Natsu was himself again. For now on, he would just watch and never look away.

"How lovely. Well, I certainly don't mind an audience." Garius told before swiftly moving the glass in his hand across Natsu's torso, cutting the white shirt open before putting the object back against the boy's neck. The shirt fluttered open, revealing Natsu's tanned chest completely.

Gray bit his lip so hard until it bled for trying to control himself as he saw a thin red line appearing where the glass had cut open the shirt. Garius glanced down to see the same mark and gave a quick shrugg. "Oops." As if nothing had happened, Garius resumed his actions. He lifted Natsu's hand up to his face again before licking his index finger slowly before he put it inside his mouth. He made sure to lick and suck it as loud as he could, tormenting his spectator as much as possible. He let out a long moan as he pushed the entire finger in his mouth and sucked on it loudly. He kept his half-lidded eyes on Gray the entire time, getting excited with the way the raven-haired seemed to feel more pained by every action.

Garius then used the wet finger to massage Natsu's left nipple, causing him to let out a true moan of pleasure. It felt much better than he had imagined, even if he was doing it himself. Especially when he saw how Gray was struggling to keep his eyes focused on the body in front of him.

"As good as this feels, I know you're just waiting for the truly delicious part to start, aren't you?" Garius asked as he moved his hand below Natsu's bellybutton, stopping there only briefly to make sure that Gray knew what was coming, before moving his hand over Natsu's crotch.

Blood now made a small river from Gray's lip to his chin as he kept biting his lip. Even though it hurt, it was nothing compared to the emotional torment he was going through. He wanted to avert his gaze, he really did, since it was so wrong towards Natsu to see his body being exposed and used like this but he knew that if he did, it would mean that he was leaving the boy alone with this.

When the first fingers slid past the elastic band on Natsu's pants, Gray was fighting with all his might not to close his eyes and look away. He was in the brink of crying, which he both wanted and didn't want to do and so he kept himself in check. He needed to be strong, for Natsu.

Gray kept watching as the light green fabric was slowly being pulled, revealing the skin underneath it. Garius let go of the pants once he reached his knees, letting the fabric fall into a pile at his feet. Natsu's legs were now bare expect for the boxers he still wore.

Gray never closed his eyes, not even when the tanned hand started stroking at the member underneath the black material, letting out disgusting moans with Natsu's voice. "That feels so much better than I remembered!" Garius sighed with glee before he let out another long moan.

It was inevitable by that point, but it still made Gray feel sick inside to see how Natsu's member was becoming hard. It wasn't Natsu being aroused after all. It was Garius. Right now, everything that the bastard was feeling, he was only feeling himself. Natsu wasn't the one enjoying this. It was only the bastard using his body.

Gray could only imagine what Natsu was feeling. If he truly was seeing how his body was being used, he must have felt horrible. Reminding himself that the only thing he could do to help Natsu was to keep watching, Gray mustered all his strength to keep his eyes on the body in front of him.

"It's no good, I can't help myself any longer!" Garius gasped, clearly too aroused to even play around anymore, before he slid off the last piece of clothing that had protected Natsu's dignity. Unfortunately, Gray wasn't able to hold himself together at that point. Seeing Natsu's completely bare figure in a situation like this was too wrong – too horrible. He let his face wall as he closed his eyes and let his first tears escape.

"You gave up? I hope you feel proud of yourself!" Garius told and laughed before he continued his earlier task.

Gray found himself actually wishing that he was anywhere else than in that room as Garius started moaning loudly as he was clearly stroking Natsu's member. Just when Gray was about to really lose it and start shouting - telling him to just stop – Garius let out a pained gasp.

"Wha-? What do you think you're doing?!" Not expecting this, Gray looked up to see how Natsu's hands were slowly being forced away from his body as they trembled. His face was twisted in anger and pain and it seemed like he was struggling with something. "I won't let you, not now! I'm still not finished!" he shouted in protest but it seemed like he was losing his battle against something unseen.

Gray only stared for a while before realizing that it was Natsu fighting against Garius' control. When he understood it, he took the chance to leap towards body in front of him to grab the piece of glass in Natsu's hand. He struggled with his task for a bit as Garius kept his grip firm on the glass, effectively cutting Natsu's palm in the process, thus making the piece slippery with his blood. As the grip suddenly got weaker, he pulled the piece away before throwing it on the floor before holding Natsu's wrists firmly.

Natsu's head was thrown back and his eyes were squeezed shut in a silent struggle as his body was rigid and still.  
"Natsu? Natsu! It's me! Fight him!" Gray shouted at the boy as he tried to find some kind of sign of his lover in his expression.

Natsu soon let out a tight exhale before his expression softened and his entire body went limp. Not expecting the sudden change, Gray grabbed Natsu under his arms and fell on the floor with him.

Once he had recovered from his surprise, Gray quickly pushed himself up and looked at the unconscious figure on his lap. He shook the boy's shoulders in worry.

"Natsu? Natsu! Wake up!"

The boy squeezed his eyes shut even tighter once before he finally opened his eyes. He didn't move, only muttered a name, "Gray?"

The older felt like he could finally breathe again. "Thank goodness you're back."

When Natsu didn't move or answer and just laid there completely unmoving, Gray got worried. "Natsu?"

The younger had a strange expression on his face as he seemed to be looking for something to say. What he came up with wasn't something Gray had expected. "I think I'm going to be sick." That and the way Natsu's face twisted were the only warnings Gray got, but they were enough. He instantly grabbed Natsu and took him to the bathroom quicker than he had seen anyone move before letting the boy sink to his knees and throw up into the toilet. There wasn't much to throw up in the first place since it was a while since Natsu had gotten a good meal into him, as the last meal had just been cleaned from the floor behind them two hours or so ago.

Natsu kept dry heaving for a some time while Gray rubbed comforting circles on his back, over what was left of his shirt. When he was finished, he tiredly flushed the toilet before slumping against Gray's body behind him.

The two of them were completely silent for a while, neither really knowing where to even start after an experience like that. Eventually, it was Natsu who spoke.

"Thank you Gray... for being there."

Gray chocked a sob and put his forehead against Natsu's shoulder.

"Idiot.." he said and tried not to cry. But when Natsu rested his head against Gray's and started brushing his hair in an attempt to comfort him, the older couldn't hold it in anymore. He cried out all of his fears and anger as well as his relief and happiness. He felt ashamed of doing so, after all, it should have been Natsu crying – not him. Instead, Natsu kept brushing Gray's hair without any evident emotion on his face, just listening to him cry.

This went on until Gray had managed to calm himself down for a bit, still holding his head where it was but at least not crying like a little girl anymore. Then, Natsu said something Gray hadn't wanted to ever hear.

"Gray... I don't think I can do this. I... I give up."

* * *

**Don't kill me, please. I know that was awful. I really can't believe that my first really M-rated thing was...that. I think I will just sink into my couch now and never write again, byee!**_****_


End file.
